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rooms? I didn’t know.
    I perched on the edge of one of the deep leather seats and waited, recalling how Alex had spoken to me on the plane. He didn’t like me when I behaved, but I didn’t feel the strength to fight anymore.
    So I waited, sitting quietly with my legs pressed tightly together, and I wondered what was going to happen next.
    “This way,” Alex said, once we’d checked in, beckoning me to follow him.
    He took me to a room with a tiny balcony overlooking the street. I have absolutely no metal in my head, am one of those people who gets lost when spun around three times. Still, I had a fairly good idea of where we were. I’ve explored Paris thoroughly by foot. I knew the shops around the hotel, knew where the Seine was, knew how to find my favorite café. I started to feel that familiar excitement building. I was here. In Paris. So what if I happened to be with Alex right now? Jack was with me in a way. He was sending notes and toys and instructions and…
    “Unpack,” Alex said, “we’re going out.”
    I did as he instructed, not even questioning him about the toy still inside of me. I hoped he’d let me take it out. Hoped he’d let me shower, slip into new clothes, or at least a set of panties. But I knew from experience with Alex not to even ask. I put away my clothes while he washed up, and then I waited.
    “Your turn,” he said, to my total relief. “Get cleaned up, and we’ll go.”
    “The toy…” I hesitated, unsure of how he’d respond. Had Jack even told him what was in the bag?
    “Oh, right,” Alex said, as if he’d forgotten all about why I was walking funny. “Come here.” Before I could think, he had me bent over the edge of the bed and was unceremoniously removing the plug and tossing the toy into a wastebasket. No embarrassment at all on his part. Sometimes Alex treated me more like a thing than a person.
    I wanted to cry when I took the shower. My emotions turned on me so that I felt unsure of how I’d behave when I went back into the room. But Alex wasn’t menacing. He sat on the sofa, waiting. Smoking. A smile for me while he watched me get dressed.
    “You’re doing fine,” he said, confusing me even more. “I would have thought you would have fought more, but you’re doing well.” Again my thoughts went wild. Did he want me to fight him? Did Jack? Christ, would I ever feel at ease in my world? Or was that the whole fucking point?
    ###
    Alex took me to an exclusive lingerie and sex toy store that was tucked down a side street near the hotel. A store that he—or Jack—had clearly scoped out ahead of time. If you didn’t know the place was there, you wouldn’t be able to find it. Curtains shielded the front windows from curious passersby, and there was a bell to press to be allowed in.
    But once inside, you found paradise. Kinky, expensive paradise.
    Here, Alex bought me a variety of outfits, and I was impressed with the way he seemed to know exactly the items I would have chosen for myself.
    The female clerk watched us carefully. The girl was about my age, but elegant in a way that I admired. Her hair was chestnut-hued and worn in a sleek ponytail. Her makeup was tastefully subtle to set off deep merlot-colored lips.
    Alex didn’t ask for any assistance. He slid one item after another into a pile before motioning that he was ready.
    As the clerk rang up the items, Alex added one last treat, a weapon that made the clerk’s eyebrows arch and made me suck in my breath.
    ###
    Alex obviously enjoyed the stroll through the lobby. I could tell. He held me around the waist, as if we were a courting couple, and he made sure that the crop was more than visible in the bag he carried in his free hand. We’d eaten after shopping, and then leisurely walked around the city, because that’s what I most love to do in Paris. Now, Alex was hurrying me, and I didn’t know why. Couldn’t guess, until we entered the room.
    “Call him.”
    I looked at Alex as he set the bag