Dreamside Read Online Free Page B

the wall. Ella waited.
    "Do you know why I came?"
    Honora
looked into her eyes for the first time. "Can't we go somewhere?"
    Outside, walking side by side
in their thick winter coats, Ella was surprised when Honora gently linked arms
with her. She remembered that type of endearing, girlish gesture so well;
that, and a fresh smell of camomile and rainwater. Honora's tawny hair fell as
it always had, into a tight nest of curls and ringlets. She exuded a vulnerability
that made Ella, by contrast, feel coarse.
    They
went to a small tea shop and peered at each other. The window was misted with
condensation. Every time someone came in or left, a door-shaped wedge of cold
air sent a shiver around the seated customers. Outside a UDR soldier with his cockade feather erect
patrolled by with that circumspect hip-swivelling security walk. Ella watched
him.
    "After a while you stop seeing them."
    "Are we talking about
soldiers?"
    "What else? They look like shadows; but they're
real."
    "And what about
the real shadows?"
    Ella
flattered herself that she always knew when someone was dissembling. She had an
idea that she could peer, if not into a person's darkest heart, then at least
into the blue or grey or green of their eyes, where she might detect the
microscopic splash imperceptible to others. Honora dropped her eyes and tried
to change the subject.
    "You
gave me the fright of my life when I saw you outside the classroom. I never
expected to see you again, least of all here. It suddenly brought it all back
to me. How we were and all that. Weren't we crazy
then, Ella? Wasn't it all madness?"
    "Oh
yes, it was that all right."
    "But
it's grand to see you. Really it is."
    "I
wish you meant that." The remark made Honora look away again. "You
know why I came to see you."
    "You
want to talk to me about dreams?"
    "We
could talk about the IRA instead. Or the Mountains of Mourne. Or about Donegal tweed . . ."
    "All right, all right. So, let's talk about dreams. I'm happy to talk about dreams, if that's what you
want me to talk about."
    "I
want to talk about the kind of things that happened to us while we were at university. I mean, if anything like that has been happening
to you lately."
    "Oh,
come on Ella! Don't you think I didn't have enough with what happened at the
time? I put it all behind me. I was glad to get away from it when I had the
chance. And now it's all in the past."
    "It's
not in the past. It's back and it's not nice."
    "But
don't you see what it is!" Honora cried. "Just this talking about it
is what does it. You're dredging it all up again. Why can't you leave it alone?
The more you want to discuss and analyze and toss it back and forth the more
you bring it all back again. It was a mistake, something we did when we were
young. It's something we shouldn't keep going back to; like an old—"
    "Like
an old affair?"
    "Something like that."
    "Lee
said some very similar things, about not wanting to open it all up."
    "Well,
he's right. Me and him both."
    "But
he's a different kind of person. Remember what we used to call the repeater? He's been having some of those dreams again. Only it's not a joke any more.
Some mornings it's panic . . ."
    "Are
you living with Lee?"
    "No, but I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. We didn't get together and resurrect this dreaming
thing. It started happening to both of us independently. I got frightened, so I
got in touch with Lee. That was when I found that the same things were
happening to him. I'd already decided that one of the original circle was muddying the pool; so if it wasn't me and it
wasn't Lee . . ."
    "You
thought it might be me."
    "I had
to come and find you, at least. You can understand that, can't you?"
    "Yes,
I can understand it."
    Dusk had
rolled over the street outside the tea shop. A hand switched on dim lights. Now
half of Honora's face was in grey shadow, the other half washed by unhelpful
amber light. Another patrol passed by the misted window.
    Ella was
still trying to