Diary of an Expat in Singapore Read Online Free Page B

Diary of an Expat in Singapore
Book: Diary of an Expat in Singapore Read Online Free
Author: Jennifer Gargiulo
Pages:
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of Scrabble, but acronyms for the different routes you can take: PIE (Pan-Island Expressway, the oldest and longest expressway), CTE (Central Expressway), and AYE (Ayer Rajah Expressway). Soon you’ll be saying, “Just take the AYE to avoid the ERP,” with the best of them. Btw, if any urban planners are reading this: the ERP (automatic Electronic Road Pricing)? Not very popular.
There is a pretty good chance you will have your wallet returned.
    I think it’s safe to say that anywhere in the world, forgetting valuables in a cab is not a good thing. It’s tantamount to kissing them goodbye. Here, it is not surprising to see someone breathe a sigh of relief: “Oh, I just left it in the taxi this morning.” Like that’s a good thing. And, it often is. A taxi driver famously returned $1.1 million left behind by a Thai couple. What they were doing with that much cash in the first place was never discovered. My guess is they were going to buy cheese (see ‘Signs you’re not slumming it in Singapore’).
You feel lucky.
    Why? Because this means you actually managed to flag one down. Most likely after three other taxis drove away, vigorously shaking their heads
no
after you told them where you needed to go. And, even though they say it’s because they are at the end of their shift (really… at 11:30 am?), their refusal still stings.
You’re feeling
really
lucky.
    Why? Because it’s raining outside. And no, it’s not just an impression. There really are fewer taxis around when it’s raining… you know, when you need them most. Whether it’s for insurance or spite, nobody can confirm. Surely, this doesn’t endear taxi drivers to commuters. At least, not in a downpour.

Signs you’re at a Starbucks in Singapore
It’s colder than the average Starbucks.
    Starbucks is ubiquitous and Singapore is no exception. Same logo, same coffee, just colder. Madonna claimed: “Italians do it better.” Singapore’s Tourism Board should claim: “We do it colder.”
    When I ask my Singaporean friends why they would agree to pay $6 for a cup of coffee when they could get it at a kopitiam for $2, they answer without hesitation: “It’s not about the coffee. It’s the lifestyle. You’re paying for the air con, the cool soundtrack, the free Wi-Fi.”
They sell green tea chai lattes.
    If Singapore is going to carry international chains then those chains had better be localized if they want to be successful. Hence, the green tea chai latte at Starbucks, the prosperity chicken burgers at McDonald’s, and the spicy toppings at Pizza Hut.

There are textbooks spread out on every table.
    Judging from the many students, textbooks strewn about, and nervous looks, it would appear Starbucks is the number one destination when cramming for exams.
The staff speaks Malay.
    I have been to many Starbucks around the island and the staff is almost always Malay. I have no idea why this is. On their own coffee breaks, they choose spicy nasi lemak rather than blueberry muffins, but when it comes to grinding coffee, they know their beans.
If it’s Chinese New Year, with every purchase of a venti size beverage, you will receive a pack of
hong bao
(red packets).
    Hong bao
are the little red packets containing crisp, new, even-numbered banknotes that are given to friends and relatives on Chinese New Year for good luck.
Hong bao
is also a word that brings joy to every Singaporean kid and every expat kid who follows local traditions. Strangely enough, my own kids profess a sudden affinity for all things Chinese just around this time of year. Forget the tooth fairy, they’re looking for their
hong bao
. The tooth fairy is an unreliable late-night visitor but
hong bao
are a certainty.
If it is the Year of the Snake, the teddy bear sold at Starbucks will have a snake on its shoulder.
    Children always want teddy bears, and when they walk into Starbucks it’s no different. Only difference is that if you’re in Singapore, and it happens to be the year of the
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