Demigods and Monsters Read Online Free Page A

definitely doesn’t have Percy’s best interests at heart pops up to try and sell him something. Sometimes it’s something he doesn’t need. Sometimes it’s something he doesn’t want. Usually it’s both. But Percy and his pals stop to check the whatever-it-is out anyway.
    Yes, that’s right. Even with danger all around them, our hero and his companions take the time to shop.
    What the heck is that all about?
    Let’s begin to answer this question by doing the same thing Percy and his quest mates Grover the satyr and Annabeth, daughter of Athena, goddess of wisdom, do in chapter eleven of The Lightning Thief . Which, as I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, is Percy Jackson and the Olympians book one.

    Like Percy, Annabeth, and Grover, we’re going to kick off our monster retail tour with a visit to ATNYU MES GDERAN GOMEN MEPROIUM.
    For those of us not afflicted with demigod dyslexia, that would be Aunty Em’s Garden Gnome Emporium.
    True confession: Aunty Em’s Garden Gnome Emporium is my favorite monster retail experience of all time. Probably because I didn’t have to actually experience it myself. But also because Aunty Em turns out to be Aunty “M.” That’s short for Medusa, who may be the original experiencer of the bad hair day.
    Actually, considering she has to go around with snakes on her head where her hair’s supposed to be, I think we could just go with bad hair life.
    Good rule to follow, in case it should happen to come up: Never piss off Athena, goddess of wisdom, Annabeth’s mom. That’s how Medusa ended up as old snakehead, and now she’s plenty pissed off. So pissed that one look at her hairdo is all it takes to turn you to stone. If you look at a reflection of her, you’re good to go. But if you look at her, well, head on. . . .
    That’s who all the garden gnomes in the emporium are—creatures of one sort or another who looked Aunty Em right in her beady, bloodshot eyes. Grover even thinks he spots one that looks a lot like his Uncle Ferdinand. It turns out he’s right. Only it doesn’t just look a lot like his Uncle Ferdinand. It is his Uncle Ferdinand.
    Grover gets extra points, by the way, for urging his companions not to set foot in Aunty Em’s Garden Gnome Emporium. He’s certain he smells monsters, and it turns out he’s absolutely right. Unfortunately, Percy and Annabeth overrule him. Not necessarily because they’ve developed a sudden interest in acquiring yard art for Camp Half-Blood, but because they smell burgers and they’re hungry.
    Let’s just re-cap the overall scenario, shall we?
    Percy, Grover, and Annabeth have just begun their quest. They know there’s danger all around them. In fact, they’ve just escaped
from an attack by all three of the Furies in the back of a bus, which is no mean feat, I can tell you. So I suppose I should cut Percy and Annabeth some slack, because it does make a certain amount of sense that all that Fury-fighting would have made them hungry.
    But instead of heading for a nice safe McDonald’s, where you can always use the bathroom even if you don’t buy a Happy Meal, what does our hero do instead? He leads his friends straight to the back of a warehouse filled with extremely odd yet lifelike statuary. Why? Because the proprietor, whose face is completely hidden from sight by a veil (did I forget to mention that?), says there’s a free snackbar.
    Huh?
    Surely the thing somebody ought to be smelling right about now is a rat. Strangely enough, nobody, with the possible exception of Grover, does. This is monster retail at its best and brightest: side-tracking the hero and his companions, then putting their lives at risk. The fact that they all eventually escape is fine and dandy. It’s also cause for alarm. Because it’s right here, with the trip to Aunty Em’s Garden Gnome Emporium, that a pattern starts