Death by Misadventure: 210 Dumb Ways to Die Read Online Free Page B

provided by Ferrozo's body. According to
police, the young dancer, "was so intoxicated... she just remembers
waking up and being pinned on the piano." Miami Herald, November 24, 1983
    68. Deadly Romance. After a few drinks, Renee Brown, 37, thought it would be fun to
surprise her boyfriend by arriving in the middle of the night
wearing only her nightgown. On the way over, Renee slipped and
knocked herself unconscious. Misfortune turned to tragedy because
Brown lived in Minnesota and was walking barefoot in February.
Brown’s frozen body was discovered by her children’s baby sitter.
The overnight temperature had dipped to minus 23
degrees. Saint Paul Pioneer Press,
February 3, 1994
    69. Rio Frio. Although it is common for people to gain illegal entry to the
United States by swimming across the Rio Grande, swimming is a much
less common means of slipping across the country’s northern border.
A love struck Enrique Mendoza, 24, drowned trying to swim the 500
metres between Canadian and American islands in the frigid waters
of St. Mary’s River between Ontario and Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.
The water temperature was barely above freezing. Detroit police
said that this was Mendoza’s second attempt to be reunited with a
Minnesota woman he met while she was on vacation in Mexico. Mendoza
was turned back previously when the couple tried to cross the
bridge between Windsor and Detroit. Toronto Star, May 26, 1997
    70. Recipe for Disaster: Pour alcohol and two quarrelling lovers into a fast-moving pickup
truck. Deborah Bayne, 31, was returning from a night of bar hopping
and was seated on the lap of her boyfriend in the passenger seat.
When an argument ensued, she decided it was time to leave and
jumped out the door. The initial search by her boyfriend, the
driver, and some neighbors was unsuccessful. The sheriff’s
department found Bayne’s body tangled in weeds in a ditch several
hours later. Akron Beacon Journal, May
19, 1995
    Autoerotic Fatalities. There are over 150 published cases of people who have died
accidentally while masturbating or otherwise pleasuring themselves.
It is estimated that at least 50, and as many as 1000 such deaths,
occur each year in the United States. These “autoerotic fatalities”
happen in secluded locations and usually involve adult men using a
variety of dangerous means to restrict the flow of oxygen to the
brain (e.g., self-hanging, suffocation with a plastic bag, inhaling
toxic substances). The resulting hallucinatory state of
near-suffocation apparently enhances the sexual experience, but is
impossible to control with any degree of safety. Death typically
results when the participants’ safety devices fail. The next ten
stories present some less common examples of autoerotic
fatalities:
    71. The Love Bug. A 40-year-old airline pilot and Korean War veteran had a fatal
attachment to his 1968 Volkswagen Beetle. It seems he enjoyed
chaining himself by the neck to the rear bumper and running naked
behind the vehicle. The automatic transmission was set to low gear
and the steering wheel was tied off so the car moved in continuous
counterclockwise circles. Somehow the chain accidentally got
wrapped around the bug’s rear axle, pulling the pilot against the
left rear fender and choking the life out of him. The pilot was
married and the father of two children. Journal of Forensic Sciences (1972) Volume 18
    72. Nerd Love. A 42-year-old successful engineer who lived with his parents
accidentally hung himself on a backhoe he called, “Stone.” The
engineer had previously sent friends photographs of Stone along
with love poetry he had written about his beloved piece of heavy
equipment. Journal of Forensic
Sciences (1993) Volume 38-2
    73. Vacuum Attachment. A 77-year-old widower had a fatal heart attack during a ménage à
trois with his hair dryer and vacuum
cleaner. Pathology (1994) Volume
26
    74. Kinky Acres. A 62-year-old farmer who suspended himself by the ankles from the
shovel of his