Dear Sylvia Read Online Free Page A

hungry if he didn’t like beans. He said we were all spoilt and that kids in Africa would kill their mothers for beans as good as this. Leonard said he didn’t want to kill his mother for any beans and he started to cry.
    Andy said — who’s Rebecca?
    I thought Dad was going to explode another grenade. Instead he said — you have to have a love interest in a book!
    Why? Andy said.
    Dad got up and threw his beans in the garbage and said we could all go climb trees naked in a thunderstorm. He said we would learn about love interest when we were older. Then he went back to his office and going CLACKclackCLACK again at first really hard then like a woodleg pirate hopping across a stone street.
    Andy decided we needed to clean up the kitchen so there wouldn’t be a windstorm over that when Mom got home. While we were at it he said he thought Rebecca was the Invisible Enshurince Man’s seckreterry secretary who had long red hair like a red silk rope down her back and she wore lipstick.
    Leonard said — why does she have to wear lipstick?
    Andy said — because the love interest secretary always wears lipstick. That’s how you know who she is.
    Leonard said — Mom wears lipstick.
    Andy said — not at the office.
    Leonard said — but Mom doesn’t go to the office!
    So she can’t be the love interest! Andy said.
    Andy said Rebecca wears special secretary spy glasses and that’s why she can see the Invisible Enshurince Man who is in love with her because of her red hair.
    Leonard said — what’s so great about red hair? Fillus has red hair!
    Fillus is a baby — Andy said.
    And Leonard said to me — are you in love with Fillus because she has red hair?
    I said I wasn’t and Leonard said I was and I said I wasn’t and the big pot of beans slipped off the stove and mostly went down Leonard’s leg but it wasn’t me!
    Leonard was snapping his dish towel around and Andy caught it and somebody’s elbow knocked the cupboard door and that’s when the glasses fell down on the counter so close to Leonard he bumped into the bean pot.
    Dad stopped going clackCLACKclack and I thought a world war would come stomping into the kitchen but it was just us with the broken glasses and Leonard crying over beans.
    When he comes to bed tonight he’s going to smell like them.
    Love,
Owen
    PSST! At least it’s summer now. Are you swimming in your swimming pool?

    Deer Sylvia,
    Leonard took a bath so it was all right.
    Whenever I go over to giggle Fillus to sleep Ant Lorraine and Uncle Lorne and Eleanor and Sadie always ask what is happening with the Invisible Enshurince Man. Tonight they knew already because Mom went over to their house and told them all about it! She told Lorne he should talk sense to Dad who should go back to work. And Eleanor and Sadie kept saying who is Rebecca?
    So I told them about her.
    Sadie makes me toast when I visit. She’s good for that and it’s OK because she’s my cousin. Sometimes I know girls can get jellyus jealous. I think Mom is of Rebecca because of her red hair and lipstick. But just so you know I don’t go for any of that. I think your hair is like flying up in an apple tree over a field of sunny corn and you don’t need any lipstick on it at all.
    Love,
Owen
    Deer Sylvia,
    Mom has a job! She is a resepshunist receptionist at the Lord Buggle Hotel in Claymore. She says hello and takes the money.
    Dad didn’t even make a big arguemint argument. He sits in his office now staring at the typewriter and not moving like he is waiting for a big fish to swim into his bear hands. I wonder even if he is breathing he is so still. But then he goes clackCLACK.
    Sometimes he takes his pen and writes on the paper in the typewriter still like he can’t make up his mind.
    I am sorry if this is a strange thing to say. But sometimes I feel like I am the Invisible Enshurince