Dealers of Light Read Online Free Page B

Drink. Whatever. Come on.” She gave a nervous laugh, feeling like a jabbering idiot. If only she didn’t know what was about to happen. But she did.
    He raised a hand. “There’s no point in dragging this out and making it more painful. I wanted to tell you in person our relationship isn’t working for me. I didn’t think it was right to do it over the phone.”
    “What? ” Her heartbeats stalled, but in a far corner of her mind she’d known this would happen.
    It always did.
    “You want to just be friends, go out and have fun. But I’d like something more. I’m tired of arguing over it. There’s just no point in going on if it’s not leading somewhere.” His brow wrinkled.
    She knew how to make him stay. All she had to do was go to him and say she wanted more, too. Temptation tugged at her heart until it hardened and sank in her chest, like a pebble in a pond. She wanted more. Craved more. Which didn’t matter because she refused to risk his safety. Not after what happened the last time she’d gotten too close to someone.
    The old horror rose in her mind —a frantic three a.m. call to her friends to come help her revive poor Chris after she’d inadvertently drained his Light in the throes of sex. She’d almost killed a man, and it had nearly killed her .
    Sure, her other Light dealing friends said eventually she’d learn to control it, but she couldn’t justify risking innocent, loving men like Tom. It wasn’t fair. So they always left her. Alone. Always alone.
    “I see. ” Her limbs froze. Dusty tugged on the leash to go to Tom, but she pulled him back.
    “I’m sorry, Cara. Really. I thought we might have something, but—” He opened his mouth, but snapped it shut. Muscles twitched along his jaw line. He half raised one hand, let it drop, and walked to his car door, head down. He got in without another glance and drove away.
    She stood there until he turned on to the main road. He wasn’t coming back. A single tear ran down her cheek until she swiped it away. Damn it, it wasn’t fair. She had this gift, this incredible gift she didn’t really understand, that allowed her to heal and ease pain. But it also kept her from having love in her life.
    Rushing inside, she slammed the door and leaned her back against it. She fought against a wave of rising tears and slid down until she sat on her butt. Dusty took advantage of her proximity by licking her face over and over. She hugged his neck until he squirmed to get away, and stood there torturing her with his big, sad eyes.
    “Don’t give me that dopey look. There’s nothing I can do about it.” Her trembling fingers fumbled with his leash and finally got it unhooked. She used the doorknob to pull herself up.
    “This calls for a drink.” She sighed and headed into the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of merlot from one of the grocery bags. After corking, she poured herself a glass and gulped down her first mouthful. Unbidden, pent up emotions from the day added fuel to her sorrow. Grief for Emmie, fear for Nicki, heartbreak for Tom. Hot tears streamed down her face, her breath hitching on her sobs.
    The wine numbed the edges of her mind and she drained that glass and poured another. Two more gulps and the fire burned through her veins , deadening the pain. She tucked the bottle under one arm and trudged into the living room, taking a drink from her glass every few steps.
    She sank into her favorite cushy chair across from the sofa , and Dusty rested his head on her knee while she stroked his forehead. Thank God for her dog. Unconditional love and companionship.
    She hauled in a deep breath. She would just get on with her life without a man. Plenty of things for her to do. Maybe she’d join the Peace Corps and devote her life to helping others in far off places. Moving from country to country so there would be no time for relationships or regret.
    Tears we lled up again, and she bit her cheek to chase away the frustrating fountain of emotion.