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female PC then, even if she’s as crabby as I am.’
    ‘We’ve got two monumentally uncrabby women just started the late shift. Your best bet is Dorothy Watkins, bags of experience and you know her already.’
    ‘Indeed I do. Indeed I do.’ And Hart looked at his colleague darkly as he shook his head, like she had just suggested he marry the woman in question, not merely take her out on a job. ‘I heard about last week’s escapade in Smith’s, her exploits have already become enshrined in the force’s folklore. Dear old Dotty Watkins on the trail of a shoplifter, spent more time sifting through the CDs than hunting her prey. The manager wondered if she was stashing some of them away herself and it looked for a minute like we’d have to nick our own officer.’
    ‘Oh come on Harry, it wasn’t quite that bad.’ Lynn smiled. ‘Okay, perhaps it was.’
    ‘So, who’s the other paragon of charisma on your long list of two?’ Hart’s eyebrows crinkled as he pondered the question he had posed. ‘No, don’t tell me. Naomi Campbell has joined the force tonight, her charming and compassionate persona arriving just in time to transport an already wonderful evening to a state of supreme perfection.’
    ‘Well, there’s a new girl who’s only been here a couple of weeks, this is her first job. But if you’re thinking of taking her to break the news to that lad’s parents, it might be a bit soon for something like that.’
    ‘What’s she like?’
    ‘Keen, bright, eager to impress.’
    ‘What else? There’s always a paragraph of small print. Read it out loud for me so I don’t have to put my specs on.’
    ‘Nothing else, although it’s a bit too early to be sure about her yet, she’s hardly got her feet under the table. She’s already attracting the attention of some of the more predatory lads here at the factory, but I’m not suggesting that’s a recommendation for her police work.’
    ‘There, I told you there’d be a catch. So she’s lippy? Vain? Adores herself with a crafty glance every time she walks past a mirror?’
    ‘No, no, and no.’
    ‘Good. I’ll take her. Get her to pop along to my office right away will you, Lynn.’ And with that he trotted along the corridor into the little world he had made for himself.
    Hart’s office was neat and tidy and lacking in frills, just like the way he dressed, just like his car. There was an in-tray and an out-tray and a small stack of foolscap files lying on the desk, and a computer on the narrow table that ran along its left side. Next to the keyboard stood a sturdy pint mug for Harry’s tea, bearing little portraits of all the English kings and queens regnant since 1066. A wickerwork stand stored his teapot, kettle and assortment of fine leaves.
    Other police officers were surprised by his contemporary outlook regarding the art of catching villains. Because of his reserved neatness, they expected him to be one of those archetypal old-time coppers who despised records and paperwork, mobile phones and laptops, and proudly wore their grumpy disdain like a cherished medal. After all, any man who used a tea cosy must have left his footprints in the mud alongside the trails of the dinosaurs. In truth, Hart saw the need to keep the books up to date, although he didn’t exactly relish the task, and he certainly thought the computer his ally, not his foe. The tools of the criminal trade were more sophisticated than ever, and if you didn’t keep up with what was going on then you unwittingly decayed into an outmoded old codger who was of no use to your colleagues or the people who needed your help. Having said that, his in-tray did contain a few documents that could have been inscribed on parchment; his administrative priorities weren’t always in sync with those of his superiors. And the computer, of course, risked being chucked out of the window into the street on the several occasions when it wouldn’t do as it was told, or thought it knew better than