Dad Says He Saw You at the Mall Read Online Free Page A

feeling ever since. I keep feeling for change in my pockets, and when there isn’t any, I reach inside my shirt and rub the hair on my belly.
    I only looked back once, and a guy yells, “Turn back or we’ll blow your nuts off!”
    He said, we , as if there were thousands of them.
    What do I know? Maybe this whole goddam thing was a mistake. I keep getting this sinking feeling, but all I can do is rub my eyes and go on eating toast.
    ~
     
    The lady who baby-sits comes out in pink and blue. She could keep on walking, become part of the sunset, never even knowing it was there.
    ~
     
    One thing was, Tutti was walking slow. I couldn’t stay beside her, she was going so slow. She was driving me crazy, the way she was walking so slow. I tried slowing down until we were side by side, but it only made me madder. So I walked ten feet in front of her. That was okay. I don’t think she wanted me walking beside her anyway.
    We got to the beach and she stood at the edge of the water with her shirt on. I went in and swam. I must have swam around for twenty minutes while she stood at the edge of the water with her shirt on.
    After twenty minutes I said, “Let’s go.”
    On the way home Tutti wore her white sunglasses that make her look like Elton John. I kept saying things. “Look at those horses.” “Look at those cows.” “Look at those pigs.” I even honked my horn at a bunch of cows. Usually this makes the cows look up and Tutti laughs. But today the cows just went on eating grass.
    Tutti said, “Don’t honk your horn. Other cars will think you’re honking at them.”
    The old lady in the car next to me was wearing those white gloves you see old ladies wear, with lace up to their elbows, and she was looking over at me.
    ~
     
    Sammy wanted to watch some videos. I told him, “No way. We’re not watching any videos.”
    Sometimes he’ll scream when you tell him he can’t watch videos. He’s too short to reach the VCR, so what he does is, he gets the videos and he puts them on top of the stereo. He pushes all the buttons on the stereo, and then he runs over to the couch and gets his blanket.
    “Hurry, Daddy,” he calls. “You’re missing it.”
    I come into the living room.
    “Look, Daddy,” he says. He’s sitting on the floor with his blanket pushed up under his nose. He points at the TV. “It’s Tigger,” he says.
    “Hi, Tigger,” I say.
    “Hi, Daddy,” Sammy says.
    ~
     
    At night, when she was in bed, she fell into caverns. These were not dreams she was having. She was falling into her own history, now and then resurfacing long enough to catch her breath.
    ~
     
    “Three out of twenty people in this room will be dead in the next five years,” she said. “In five years, some of the people in this room will be dead.” She paused to gaze around the classroom, looking each of us directly in the eye. “Five years later, more of you will be dead.” Another pause. “Eventually, all of you will be dead.”
    This was grade three. I was getting pretty nervous. I looked around the class to see how other people were taking this. Barton Smiley looked as though he was about to die right now, at his desk. He looked pale, as though he was going to faint. The kids at the back were tipping their chairs back, sniggering together and whispering things.
    “Maybe you think I am going to be the first to go,” the teacher said. “But that is not necessarily the case.” She looked straight at the kids at the back. “Some of you will die horrible deaths,” she said. “Not all of you are going to die of natural causes. Some of you will be stricken down by disease. Some of you will die in traffic accidents. Some of you will break out in pustules that will cause you terrible pain and, eventually, kill you.”
    I looked over at Barton Smiley. He was slumped down in his chair, his head tipped back, his mouth wide open. His eyes were closed. I looked around the room. The kids at the back were still sniggering. The