Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold Read Online Free Page B

me to pat them down as they enter?” Amanda considered it might be enjoyable to pat down Big Ernie. She suspected that nickname represented more than his height of six foot seven.
    “Use your discretion, but don’t let them bring any contraband, especially booze.”
    Amanda pointed to a third, smaller bag in the top of her friend’s purse. “So what’s in there? Or do I even want to know?”
    Christine smiled. “What’s one thing guaranteed to scare away men as efficiently as wolfsbane and garlic runs off all the vampires?”
    A light bulb blinked on in Amanda’s brain. “Potpourri!”
    Christine nodded vigorously. “Got a ton of it. And more where that came from.” She handed over the cellophane bag like it was a treasured secret known only to Professor Vanella Helsing. “We’ll have this sick puppy up and out in three days, tops.”
    “Maybe sooner, with no beer in my apartment.”
    “Check our blog tonight and watch the donations pour in.”
    “You mentioned some blog stuff before.” Amanda frowned. “I don’t understand.”
    “I’ll explain later. Right now it’s just theory, but I think I can combine what we’re doing to Jason with a cosmic act of charity.”
    That made no sense at all. “Wait, Christine, I need to ask you. This is a lot of thought and effort on your part. Why are you doing this?”
    “Girl, I suffered through at least one man-cold every winter for fourteen years with my Daniel.” She turned her head and spit dramatically — though it was dry. “I hope that young hussy he took up with gives him a bad dose of the clap.” Christine looked like she wished for even worse maladies.
    “You’re still smarting from that divorce, aren’t you?”
    “The hurt doesn’t end when your lawyers shake hands at the courthouse. Every time I see him, or that witchy bimbo who stole him, I get upset all over again.”
    “I’m sorry, Christine.” Amanda had wanted to ask this before but it never worked into a conversation until now. “Did you and Dan ever love each other?”
    She smiled. “Oh, yeah, ’specially at first. Lots of love. But he’s older than me — I was his second wife. After about seven years, he got the itch. Then he scratched it… a lot.”
    Amanda touched her friend’s forearm.
    “But, hey, at least I got these out of the deal.” Christine thrust out her bosom. “For our tenth anniversary, he sent me to the plastic surgeon.”
    Amanda had heard the story numerous times. “Well, they are quite impressive.”
    “The other day, I thought I’d lost the pendant from my favorite necklace. The chain clasp had broken at some point and I didn’t realize it ’til I was buying stamps at the post office.”
    “Isn’t that your favorite pendant?” Amanda pointed. “The one you’re wearing?”
    “Yeah, I found it that night while I was getting ready to bathe.” Christine giggled. “It was stuck down in my cleavage.”
    “On me, it might keep sliding.” Amanda’s hand reflexively went to her breast. She preferred to remain natural, but would be delighted with one cup size larger.
    “The funny part is the postal clerk who helped me search for the pendant kept looking at my chest. I think he knew that’s where it was!”
    It seemed like a lot of responsibility, carrying around such pronounced upper attributes. “Maybe they’d require less maintenance if you kept them contained a little more.”
    “Why? I might be in the mood to try out another husband one day.” Christine cleared her throat suggestively.
    “Well, I don’t think I’d want to cope with boobs that capture cookie crumbs and loose jewelry.”
    Christine didn’t react. “I’m pulling together a complete dietary grid for your sick boyfriend.” She waved a writing tablet. “But it’ll be tomorrow before I can collect everything and get it over here. For the time being, here’s a box of crackers I want you to use on him.”
    “ Use on him? What are they?”
    “They’re similar to rice