pronoun game. I mean, I was in drama and I was from
California, so she just thought…
Anyway,
the walks became a tradition with us. I helped her through her long
distance heartbreak, and she helped me through mine. We both went
through various ups and downs over the next two and a half years, but
nothing and no one ever came between us. We held hands and
occasionally we would kiss goodnight, but it was never more than
that. Then Derek entered her life.
We
hit the edge of campus in the warm night air and turn north toward
the public park like we always do. She has not said anything yet, so
I just keep my mouth shut. As we turn the corner and are completely
out of sight of the campus, I realize what it is that I am seeing.
"Susan,
I've seen you wear that dress before. It does not have a slit in the
side..."
"No,
it doesn't. Or at least, it didn't. We had a fight."
"Yeah,
I figured that out already. Sue, you haven't come over to go for a
walk in almost six months. When you showed up tonight I knew it meant
something happened with him. "
"My
God, Scott, where did that come from? You sound like you're speaking
of the devil! Do you really mean that?"
"You
know I do. I have never hidden from you how I feel about anything,
least of all about Derek. Can you really have been so blind? We have
talked a little in the last six months, you know, and I've told you
everything. It is not my fault you can't see the forest for the
trees. He talks trash about you. He plays around. Jesus fucking
Christ, after the bullshit he pulled with Cindy Mann, and you still
didn't see through it?"
"Oh
not you, too! God damn you, Scott! I don't need this from you, too…"
The
tears are starting again, only this time it is my fault. I reach out
gently just as she begins to turn away.
"I'm
sorry. I'm just very frustrated. Every time we get a chance to talk,
he appears out of nowhere and acts like a nun making sure we aren't
dancing too close or holding hands! Susan, you know I don't like him,
and I never have. The fact that he tells you not to see me is only
part of it. You deserve better." In my mind and under my breath
I add, "Someone like me."
"Yeah,
well you don't have to worry about it anymore. I left him, OK! Ok!
ok?"
By
the last "ok," her head is buried in my chest and the tears
are flowing again. I tuck her in under my arm and start slowly
heading towards the park.
We
walk slowly and, for once, I am smart enough to not say anything and
to just be there. We are maybe a hundred yards away when the first
drops hit us.
Damn!
I was paying attention to Susan, and she has been a little focused.
Neither of us noticed the wind quickening or the extra hint of
moisture in the air. It is one of those sudden southern storms and,
by the time we notice that it is raining, we are already quite wet.
"Let's
head for the bathroom by the kids' playground! We can stand in there
and wait it out. C'mon, Susan. Run for it!"
We
go maybe half the distance, me pulling her along, when she lets go of
my hand. I turn quickly, worried that she has caught a toe and
tripped or turned an ankle on the wet grass. But no. She is just
standing there with her head down, her shoulders shaking from the
force of her sobs. I take my time walking back, figuring that she
just needs a moment and it is really a private thing, perhaps not
something I was meant to share and that is why she stopped. I stand a
couple of feet away, the rain running down my face, as her whole body
shakes, afraid to hold her like I want to, afraid to move away.
Finally, I realize what an idiot I am being and move forward to take
her into my arms when she looks up at me—and smiles.
The
noise of the rain has masked that she was not crying this time. She
was laughing.
"Scott,
why are we running for cover? We're already soaked! Let's just walk…"
Susan
reaches out, takes my hand, and turns toward the swing set on the
playground. As we step more slowly now, she swings our hands back and
forth and even does