Coffin Fit (The Grateful Undead series Book 4) Read Online Free Page B

Coffin Fit (The Grateful Undead series Book 4)
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blood-mate. Don't freak out. It's not what you think. He only fanged her to mark her. He said it was like a human spitting in their food so no one else wanted to eat it. Whatever. It majorly pissed Dorius off, because he wanted total control of the diminutive demon.
    Since they swapped blood, Lily and Christopher had all those mate powers, and neither Dorius nor Daddy-demon could penetrate their minds or manipulate them mentally. I personally thought it was a brilliant move on Christopher's part, even though he had no choice. A possible blood mate's pull was hard to turn away from. I know. I tried with Marcus.
    We usually partnered up for vamp-critter duties but never seemed to do much critter catching. He always worked another agenda, and it almost always made Dorius look like an idiot—fine with me. Did I mention Christopher had a history with every one of Dorius's mates? Don't ask—big brouhahas.
    "You got an hPhone?" Mom asked Christopher. "And it works?"
    I could barely hear Resi's muffled remarks. She was face down on the pillow again. Good thing we didn't have to breathe.
    "Damn right," Christopher said, slinging the hand towel over his small shoulder. "My little woman keeps me in the loop. Which reminds me, did you guys hear about the rogue ring in Italy headed by an Arctic Wolf shifter-slash-vampire? Seems JoAnn's faux pas' found their way abroad and did some nibbling."
    "Of course they did," I said sarcastically. "So, how pissed is Dorius?"

 
     
     
    ~~~~
    Three
    ~~~~
     
     
    I trotted into the kitchen, feeling a little lightheaded after putting up heavily lined curtains and taking down a few religious artifacts around my bedroom. Being Italian comes with a healthy dose of Catholicism. I had three crucifixes from funeral coffins alone. Mom was a collector and shared with motherly abandon. I needed a coffin.
    Mom sat in front of the laptop, eyes tight, lips tight, temper loosey-goosy.
    "When was your poor excuse for a husband going to tell me about Italy? Huh, Betty? I'm supposed to get the next rogue mission. Not you! Me ! Get his ass on this screen. I'm going to Skype the shit out of him!"
    I could see Dorius's wife, Betty, over Mom's shoulder. Her facial expression said it all, but that didn't stop her from repeating it. "Bring it on, Chickie. Now that I got me some immortality under my corset, it'd be fun dukin' it out with you."
    Being the octogenarian in the family, Mom had several names. Her birth name was Concetta. Mom also had several issues with our new team member. Betty was all syrupy southern outside; inside, she could keep up with the rest of us in the snark department.
    "There wouldn't be no fight. You'd be plastered all over the ceiling. I'd spread you like peanut butter on bread. Now go get your husband, because I'm going to Italy!" Mom spewed spittle all over the laptop screen.
    When Betty stopped laughing, she put away her mocking grin, and said, "Pull your spandex outta your ass, and listen up, Chick. Dorius said I ain't goin' either—the bastard. Only difference 'tween me and you? I get payback. It is what it is. We ain't goin', sweetheart."
    Even though Betty was a vampire, she also had the ability to shift, thanks to one of JoAnn's offspring. She made a great hawk all claws, squawks, and fangs.
    " I'm going," Mom said. It sounded like she said it to get the last word in.
    JoAnn stood beside me in her housework apron, rag in one hand and a can of Pledge in the other, looking ready to pounce, eyes raking the laptop. She tsked at Mom and stuffed the Pledge into a pocket on her domestic tool belt next to a compartment with paper toweling.
    "Oh, you're going, Chick." Christopher snickered, sitting sideways next to the computer on the top of the picnic table. One leg was bent Indian style, foot tucked under his knee. The other hung over the edge, barefoot swinging. "You're going to get your ass kicked if you dump on Dorius today. He's probably pulling his hair out right about now."
    "Yeah?

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