Yet there was something about his earnest smile, the glint in his eye that made her feel special. Only, she knew it wasn’t true. She could have been any girl and he would have stared like this.
“Spin around so I can see all of you,” he said, after a moment.
Ella didn’t move. She couldn’t turn around. He would see. He would be angry. Faye’s words came back to her now. Faye had warned her not to go in this condition. Ella looked down at the ground and choked out, “I’d rather not.”
She heard a breath of air leave his mouth, not quite a sigh or a harrumph, but definitely a sound of displeasure. She looked up, meeting his eyes, apology in her face, but still not moving.
He lifted his hand to his chin and gave a gentle rub, as if deciding what to do. He leaned forward slightly and said in a more commanding voice, one that scared her slightly, “I am your …,” he started out, then paused. He took a breath and started again. “I am the man who has paid more than a fair wage for you to be here. I’d like you to turn around.”
His eyes hardened, and Ella realized that Faye had been right. This had been a mistake. “I’m sorry,” she said, maintaining her front facing position as she knelt down and began lifting her dress back up. The pain of the position nearly made her cry out, but she just gritted her teeth as she pulled the dress up to cover herself. The idea of trying to slip her arms through the sleeves of the dress made her back writhe in pain, so she knew the reality of it wasn’t going to happen right now in this room with Ash watching. She managed to pull the dress up to her waist, but that’s where it happened to graze the wounds on the lower back, so she stopped tugging on the back of the dress. Instead, she just pulled the front part of her dress over her chest to shield her bosoms from his view.
She took a step backwards. “This was a mistake. I’ll give your man the money back. I’ve never done this before,” she said shaking her head, her voice timid and awkward. “I shouldn’t have come, and I’m sorry.”
She wanted to turn and bolt, to run, but couldn’t. She didn’t want him to see her back, to see the welts, the blood, and the violence that had been visited on her.
He stood and was coming toward her. She was so surprised by his unexpected move that she stopped. He reached her in a couple of strides. “Wait,” he said and put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
Ella screamed out in pain and crumpled to the floor. It wasn’t that he’d touched her particularly harshly, but everything that touched her skin caused ferocious pain. The pressure of his hand combined with all the pain she’d been biting back from the dress scraping her rear was too much.
Ash’s face melted into horror and all the color drained from him as he stared down. Ella had hunched forward when she crumpled, and she was sure he could see now. See it all. Everything she hadn’t wanted anyone to see. Shame and embarrassment rushed through her. Perhaps it was stupid to feel this. But she did. She was the only person in the room who’d done something so wrong she’d deserved a beating like that. A beating like that was a sign that she was a bad person, and she didn’t want him to see her like that. It had been hard enough coming here to begin with. She had accepted that he could view her as a whore, but the thought that he’d view her as a woman who deserved this made Ella crumble inside. She couldn’t look up at him. She sat there, her knees on the hard floor, then put her head in her hands and sobbed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.”
A hand grazed her leg and she felt his warm breath on her cheek. He was on the floor leaning near her. He spoke in a voice filled with anger. “Who did this to you?”
She knew he was angry with her for coming, so she swallowed her sobs, wiped her face and looked at him. She owed him a response, at the very least. “I’m