Church Camp Chaos Read Online Free Page B

Pops.
    Pops: Who’s there, sport?
    Isaac: Noah.
    Pops: Noah who?
    Isaac: Noah … good … joke? [snore]
    Pops: [chuckling to himself] No, Isaac, I don’t Noah good joke. You know the only good one.
    (I’ve really got to get that kid some new material.)
    EJ
     
    EJ pulled the deerstalker cap down on her forehead, held the magnifying glass up to her right eye, and peered at herself in the mirror on the back of her bedroom door.
    “Quite good,” she said in her best British accent. “EJ Holmes, consulting detective, ready for a birthday mystery.”
    EJ tied a tweed cape around her neck and glanced over her shoulder at Bert, who was sprawled on her bed. “Watson, old chap, come here for your costume,” she said, tucking the magnifying glass in the cape’s inside pocket.
    Bert gave a little snort and didn’t move.
    “Watson, I said come here,” EJ insisted.
    Bert rolled over and stretched, his back toward EJ.
    “Matthew Cuthbert T-Rex Payne,
come
!”
    (EJ rarely used Bert’s full name—including the “T-Rex” part that Isaac gave him—unless she really meant business.)
    Bert was up like a flash and next to EJ, on his back legs with his paws on her leg. EJ smiled and patted her friend on his furry head. “I guess you’re not used to being called Watson, huh? I’m Sherlock Holmes, and you’re my partner, John Watson. And it’s time for your costume.”
    EJ plopped a dog-size bowler hat on Bert’s head, adjusting the band of elastic around his ears and under his chin. Attached to the brim of the hat was a monocle that rested perfectly against his snout and in front of his right eye.
    “You look splendid, Dr. Watson!” EJ picked Bert up and looked in the mirror again to get the full effect.

    “Miss Holmes and Dr. Watson, so good of you to join us!” Mom greeted EJ and Bert at the bottom of the stairs a few minutes later. Mom looked like she’d stepped right out of the 1920s, wearing a sleeveless purple-sequined flapper dress, her long blond hair in curls that were held back from her face by a headband made out of black feathers. Mom glanced down at the note card she had in her hand before continuing. “My name is Penny Pickpocket, and I am your hostess for tonight’s dinner. May I take your hats?”
    EJ tried to stay in character, but she couldn’t help but crack a smile at Mom’s character name. She wasn’t going to let somebody with the last name of
Pickpocket
take anything of hers.
    “Thank you, Penny, but I think we’ll keep our hats on,” EJ said, stooping to pat Bert on his bowler hat. “It’s part of the look we’re going for, right, Watson?”
    Bert barked his agreement and ran in a circle next to EJ.
    “Let me introduce you to everyone,” Mom said, putting one hand on EJ’s shoulder to direct her into the living room. EJ felt Mom’s other hand slip into her Sherlock cape pocket.
    “Excuse me, Miss Pickpocket.” EJ spun around to see Mom staring through the magnifying glass at EJ with an innocent look on her face. “That’s mine. And I think you should keep your sticky fingers to yourself, Penny.”
    “Sorry about that, but I know someone who would pay top dollar for a fine tool like this.” Mom’s magnified eye winked at EJ before she handed the glass back to her. “And it’s
Mrs
. Pickpocket. Allow me to introduce my husband, Peter Pickpocket.”
    Dad stepped forward and caught EJ’s right hand in a firm two-handed shake. “We’ve heard so much about your mystery-solving abilities, Miss Holmes. Although, as you can see, none of us are shady characters, so hopefully we will just have a nice dinner together.”
    Dad was wearing a rumpled brown suit, slicked-back hair, and fake gold rings on most of his fingers—definitely a shady character in EJ’s mind. She glanced down at her wrist to check the time, only to find her watch was missing.
    “Looking for something, Holmes?”
    EJ looked up to see Dad holding her wristwatch by its leather strap.
    “The closure