Children of Paranoia Read Online Free Page A

There were three girls and five boys. Each of the kid’s parents had dropped them off for the lecture, kissing them, promising to come get them in roughly four hours and driving off, probably crying as they drove. This was no bar mitzvah or first communion. This wasn’t about ceremony. This really was the end of these kids’ innocence. None of them really knew what the lecture would be about, but none of them were clueless either. When you grow up in these families, like I did, you can’t help but know things.
    I sat in the back of the room on one of the chairs. I’d have to watch most of the lecture, only contributing my part at the end. Then the lecturer and I would take questions. We always got a lot of questions. We answered the ones we could. Some questions just went unanswered. The lecturer today was a guy named Matt from Intelligence. I’d never seen him before. I would probably never see him again. There was no rhyme or reason to our pairing. There never was. Matt wore a dark blue, pinstriped suit. His hair was cut short and he wore silver wire-rimmed glasses. He looked like a banker. These kids, they were our investment.
    Matt began his lecture. “Hello, everyone. My name is Matt. I’m here to tell you guys a bit about the world and about how you fit into it. I’m not here to lecture you. This is a talk. Feel free to ask questions at any time. I guess this will kind of be like your high school sex-ed classes, only I’m going to tell you some things that you don’t already know.” That’s right, butter them up, I thought. His line got a nervous laugh from the kids. They shot quick glances at each other, trying to figure out if it was okay to laugh. It’s okay to laugh, kids, I thought. You might as well laugh now while you still can. Matt continued. “Before we get started, I think it would be useful if everyone introduced themselves, first names only. Then tell us a little something about yourself, about clubs you’re in, sports, hobbies, favorite band, whatever.” They did this in every lecture that I had attended. I always thought it was strange because from here on out, so much of their world would be shrouded in secrecy. Normally, if you get ten of us in a room together, the idea is to share as little information about each other as possible. There is safety in silence. This was different. This was the first time for these kids. It was important for them to know that they weren’t alone. It was important for them to know that there were others out there, people on their side, people dealing with the same issues as them, other people who, like them, would go on to lead lives full of fear and hatred. Matt’s eyes turned toward the kid whose house we were in. “Ryan,” he said, as if he were an old friend of the family, “why don’t you start?”
    Ryan stood up. He was a big kid. He looked like an athlete. He was nervous, though. He put one hand in the pocket of his jeans to try to keep it from shaking. “Hi, my name is Ryan. I’m fifteen, going to be sixteen in two months. This is my house and I play football.” Football. If Matt weren’t about to fuck with Ryan’s head, Ryan probably could have been a popular kid. Maybe he could have been homecoming king. Maybe he could have dated a cheerleader. Maybe. The girl to his left spoke next. “Hi, my name is Charlotte. I just turned sixteen and I play the violin.” Charlotte glanced at the other kids’ faces as she spoke. When she was finished, she quickly turned her gaze back to her lap. It went on like that for the next fifteen minutes: Rob, the hockey player; Steve, the science club president; Joanne, the drama club member. None of these kids knew each other. They had been handpicked for this very reason. Even if they had friends that were on our side, they weren’t supposed to know it. Jared and I weren’t supposed to know that we were