Brothers and Sisters Read Online Free Page A

transparent?’ And she throws her head back like Marilyn, her mouth wide open as she smiles. It would be impressive if she was thirty years old and I was a man.
    Now she’s raising her finger. ‘Ahhh,’ she says, her head back on straight. ‘I knew I had something to tell you. I got a lovely call from your eldest brother last night. We had a nice long chat.’
    ‘That’s nice,’ I say. ‘Did he ask after me?’
    She lengthens her neck to think. ‘No, actually, he didn’t mention you at all.’
    ‘And I suppose you didn’t mention me either?’
    I wait, impassive, as she smiles. ‘Hmmmm. Let me think. No, I don’t think I did mention you. Not everything revolves around you, you know.’ She looks at me shrewdly.
    ‘I wasn’t for a moment suggesting that it does. I just would have thought my name might have popped up, in passing, as it was a long call. And I live here. I see you every day. None of them ever call me.’
    She shakes her head. ‘I’m not getting into this.’
    ‘Into what ?’ I say.
    ‘Come on now. You know very well they’re funny about you.’
    ‘What do you mean, funny ? In what way?’ I ask.
    ‘Oh goodness. I don’t know. They’re probably jealous,’ she says.
    ‘Jealous of what ?’
    ‘Oh, your big house. Your flash car. You’re big-time to them. You know what they’re like over there. They can be very small-minded.’
    ‘Why are you talking like this?’
    But she’s waving her hands now. ‘Oh no. I’m not going back over it. I’ve had enough of all that.’
    ‘Of what?’
    ‘Nothing. Nothing. I wipe my hands of it.’
    ‘That’s not fair,’ I say, leaning across the table. ‘You mustn’t say things like that without explaining yourself.’
    ‘For goodness’ sake, it’s all in the past. Leave it alone,’ she drawls.
    ‘It’s not in the past. It’s still here ,’ I hiss. ‘And I don’t know what I’ve done. Tell me what I’ve done. Please, would you just tell me what I’ve done?’
    ‘I won’t. You’re nothing but a bully. I know it’s my fault. I know I ruined you. But even as a baby you ruled me with a rod of iron . . . that roar of yours. My God you could bring the house down. It’s no wonder the others didn’t like you.’
    ‘That’s an awful thing to say. You really are becoming a very nasty old woman.’
    She looks over her shoulder, her arms clamped tightly across her chest. When she turns back, I see she’s become calm and dignified.
    ‘I’m not nasty,’ she says, her voice high in her throat. ‘All I’ve ever wanted in my life is peace and quiet. I’m a simple person. I’m a Swede. I’m a pacifist.’
    ‘You’re only a quarter Swede,’ I say impatiently. ‘Now tell me what I’ve done to them. I saw them only a short while ago and they were perfectly nice to me. Please tell me what I’ve done.’
    She shakes her head. ‘I don’t know. I really don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m here with you . And not there with them. I really don’t know. Oh dear God I’ve had enough of it all.’ She crumples. ‘I really have. I could die. I could die right now.’
    This is what I do to her. And soon you will be dead , I think. You really will be dead and I’ll be alone . And I’ll feel slightly responsible, perhaps even more than slightly responsible—who can tell until it happens.
    ‘I’ll get going now,’ I say, and I stand up, noisily scraping my chair across the floor. I wait as her brown fingers burrow into her purse for coins—they look far too big for such a small purse.
    ‘I’ll get it,’ I say, and her catch snaps shut.
    ‘Thank you,’ she breathes, exhausted.
    When I come back from the counter I see she is on her feet, my wretched sack of washing bulging inches off the ground, its tie twisted around her brown knuckles. For just a moment she looks eighty-five years old.
    ‘I’ll take that,’ I say.
    ‘No, you won’t. I’m quite capable, thank you very much.’
    So I walk on, out of the cafe, her