Broken Vessels (volume 2 of Jars of Clay) Read Online Free Page B

course. Had the world been a
fairer place, he would be the one she would be wedded to today. He, though gone
a thousand miles and what felt like a thousand days, was the man who owned her
heart. What a farce this marriage ceremony uniting her to Vincentius was to be.
    Felicity returned. “It is time. I am to escort you to your
father’s office.”
    “So be it,” she said. She would play the part of delirious
bride, of grateful daughter. She would not disappoint her guests or embarrass
her family. She would be strong with the help of the gods. And although she
knew she could never love Vincentius, she was determined to succeed at the
duties bestowed upon her as his wife and would honor him in public and private.
    This much her father had taught her.
    ***
    The villa Vincentius had purchased was situated west of her
father’s house. Not so close that she could walk there, which she often longed
to do, but a pleasant ride by carriage. She found herself lost in it, not due
to its size for it was considerably smaller than what she was used to, but due
to its lack of character and warmth and her failure to perceive it as home.
    The courtyard was bright enough, with verdant foliage tamed by
gardeners and marble statues dotting the walkway, though not as trim or
colorful as her father’s. Nor were the paintings on the wall surfaces of
Vincentius’s home as elaborate and vibrant as the ones that covered the walls
of the atrium and tablinum belonging to Brutus.
    The house itself and the yards contained therein were adequate,
and Vincentius had proven to be gentle and thoughtful on their wedding night. He
only called for her during the time of the moon that she could possibly
conceive a child, having obtained the information concerning her fertile days
from Felicity. It was a move that mortified her in the beginning, yet still her
stomach remained flat. The gods had not smiled on her, for she had not
conceived, and if only, if only she would, she would be spared the agonizingly
humiliating monthly visits from her husband.
    For she knew he loved another.
    Had she failed so terribly as a wife that her husband of only a
few months would find his pleasure in someone else? The worst of it was there
was no way in which she could compete, for her rival was a male.
    At first she thought nothing of Vincentius’s regular
visitations with Claudius, for her father often conducted business from the
home. But over the course of time, she had not missed the shared grins, the
locking of eyes, and the casual stroking of the arms.
    She was too humiliated to ask Felicity about it, for even if
she had remained in the dark about her husband’s private rendezvous, his
household of slaves and servants knew. Yet her curiosity and her dignity
demanded an answer.
    “Felicity?” She had called her slave to walk with her around
the gardens. “You must see and hear many things in the house of Vincentius. More
than even the wife of the master would hear and see?”
    Felicity nodded.
    “I know my husband is a busy man, with much business to
conduct. And I know he has little time for the affairs of a woman, but I can’t
help wondering. Does he often have guests, um, overnight?” And not wanting to
sound suspicious that her husband was involved in illicit affairs, she quickly
added, “for business, I mean?”
    Felicity dropped her eyes. “Yes,” she said quietly.
    “Often?” Helena said, her voice hushed also.
    Felicity nodded.
    “Nightly?”
    Again, without looking her mistress in the eyes, Felicity
nodded.
    “I see.”
    So that was it. She was to produce heirs and not love. She and
Vincentius would never know the love that was to grow between a man and his
wife. And truthfully, this would be fine by her.
    When the cycle of the moon indicated an impending visit from her
husband, Helena paced in her room, deeply repulsed by this fraudulent act of
marriage. She prayed earnestly to Liber and to the great goddess Juno that this
time, this night, she