Bright Purple: Color Me Confused with Bonus Content Read Online Free Page B

have the coolest band to lead worship. I can really get into the clapping and the songs and everything. And before I know it, Jessica LeCroix is the furthest thing from my mind. And from my heart.
    But when Nathan shares about how God wants us to
love our enemies
, the only enemy I can think of is Jess. And I have absolutely no desire to love her. All I want to do is to forget her—to forget that I ever knew her. Okay, I finally do feel some conviction coming on. It starts when Nathan explains how we should
pray
for our enemies. I guess I can do that.
    I can pray that God will show her that being gay is wrong, that it is sin against our Creator. I can pray that God will convict her heart and that she will rethink this whole crazy thing. I can pray that Jess will realize that she really isn’t a lesbian, and that she doesn’t even want to be. And I can pray that she will call me up tonight and that she will say that she was totally wrong and that she is terribly sorry. And that she’s taking it all back.
    Hopefully she will take it all back before anyone, besides me and my mom, finds out.



five
     
     
    I USUALLY RIDE TO CHURCH WITH J ESS ON S UNDAY MORNINGS . B UT I’ M NOT terribly surprised when she doesn’t call or come by to get me. Mostly I’m relieved. I didn’t even bother to get dressed. I figured if by some weird chance she did show up, she would see that I was still in my pajamas, and I could pretend not to feel well. Of course, she would get my hidden meaning. But that seems the easiest route for the time being. No need to beat her over the head with how upsetting this behavior of hers is. At least not yet. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep my mouth shut. Surely, she must realize that I will have an opinion.
    By eleven I feel pretty certain that I won’t be seeing her today. Big sigh. Although I’m still curious as to whether she went to church today. I’m sure her parents would go, since they rarely miss a service. And I imagine her older sister, Kaye, and Kaye’s husband and baby would be there. At least I guess they’d be there. But what if they already know about Jess’s big disclosure? What if they, like me, feel embarrassed and uncomfortable about this? What if they don’t want to be seen with her? Who can blame them?
    I think people who decide to become gay should consider these things more carefully, especially before they jump out of the closet and scare everyone to death. They should think about how theirnew “orientation” completely disorients others around them. They should consider the unfairness of their selfish and sinful choice, and how it hurts all the people who love and care about them. Like Jess’s older brother Alex. He’s in seminary right now, and he and Jess have always been close. She’s always looked up to him. And he was always so supportive of her. More than anyone else in her family, he encouraged her love of sports. What will Alex think of her now?
    “You didn’t go to church,” Mom brilliantly observes as she comes into the living room with her newspaper and a cup of coffee.
    “No, I didn’t.”
    “Still stewing over Jess?”
    I shrug. “I just felt like sleeping in.”
    Her brows give that little lift that’s meant to say she doesn’t believe me. But she just sips her coffee and opens her paper.
    Relieved that she doesn’t plan to “practice” any counseling techniques on me right now, which I think is considered unethical and maybe even illegal, I get up and go to my room, where I pop in a CD and flop down on my bed. I need to think. Really, what am I going to do about this? Is there anything I can do? I mean besides pray? I’ve been begging and begging God, asking him to do something to undo the mess Jess has made. And so that’s what I decide to do now. I will continue asking God to reveal to Jess that she’s made a big mistake. I ask him to show her that she’s really not gay, and she doesn’t want to be gay, and that