of friendship. Of history. But with Sam we clicked straightaway. History has to start somewhere.
âWell, ladies, Iâm off,â Rivers says.
âWhy donât you stay, sir,â I say, even though Iâve never seen him stay. He has a beer or two and thatâs it.
âNoâ¦â He drags out the âo.â âBesides, I have to let any would-be thieves know that the house isnât abandoned.â
He does work hard. Long hours.
âHave a good night but donât forget our eight oâclock meeting,â he says.
Sam and I look at each other and respond in unison. âWe wonât.â
Rivers comes in close but doesnât lower his voice. âSheâll be a bad influence on you, that one.â He points his finger at Sam.
âMe?â Sam winks at me.
Rivers raises his hand in a saluting goodbye. âGood night all,â he yells over his shoulder and then disappears out the door.
Samâs admirers soon join us and I watch Sam enthrall her captive audience. One night, about a month ago, she insisted we go clubbing. But instead of going out in our normal clothes, she managed to convince me to dress up in cheerleading garb. We pretended we were up from Texas for cheerleading tryoutsâSamâs from there anywayâand I even attempted a Texan accent. The guys were all over us, thinking theyâd stumbled onto easy marks. I went along with it for about two hours before one of the guys spotted my gun in my handbag. Suddenly we didnât look like âeasy laysâ and they were gone, moving on to a couple of women at the bar.
The gun scares off lots of men. It probably doesnât help that I carry it with me everywhere. Perhaps Iâm paranoid, but you never know when youâll need it. InAustralia I used to carry my gun and badge all the time too. The problem is, I know what, or should I say who, is out there. I see their handiwork every day. At least here Iâve got an excuseâitâs Bureau policy that weâre armed at all times.
Samâs telling the guys a story but Iâm only half listening. Tonight I donât feel like joining in on the fun. I think about the case and the victims. I find it hard to party with Christine Henley and the others staring at me with wide, frightened eyes. I see so much in a victimâs eyes.
Marco brings me back. âThinking about home?â
âNo. Not homeâ¦â I pause. âDo you think we should haveââ
âWe got him, Sophie. Thatâs all that matters now. Thatâs all you can think about.â
âYeah. Yeah, youâre right.â
Everyone else seems so good at separating the horror from their everyday lives. Everyone except me. Or maybe theyâre just better at putting on the front. The BAU has one of the highest burnout rates in the FBI. Itâs easy to get too close, too absorbed in a killerâs mind.
A few hours later Marco and I walk out of the smoke-filled bar. I take in a deep breath of fresh air, already regretting the late night.
Marco walks me to my car, not saying much, but itâs a comfortable silence. Iâm glad of his company. I say good-night to him and bundle into my car. I jump on the I75 to Alexandria, where my apartment is. Itâs between the unitâs base in Quantico and D.C.
I walk into my apartment and dump my bag and keys on the hall table.
âHi, honey, Iâm home.â
Silence.
I took this job knowing I was leaving my boyfriend of seven years, Matt, and my friends and family. I couldnât pass up the chance to work at the FBI. The real deal. It had been my dream sinceâ¦well, as long as I can remember. I guess thatâs what happens when you grow up on Charlieâs Angels, James Bond and The X-Files. But itâs hard coming home to an empty house, knowing the people you love are on the other side of the world. I look at the two clocks on the wall, which Iâve labeled