back in Liverpool in the late forties. Or so he claimed.
George Harrison’s manhood had been severed in an horrific hedge-trimming accident early last year, which only goes to show how inadvisable it is to garden in the nude. With the nearest hospital a ninety minute drive away, it had fallen to me to calm down the hysterical pack of nudists, provide him with first aid to stem the blood flow, locate the lopped tip, pack it in ice and speed him to meet the ambulance racing towards us from Big Town. After a delicate and lengthy operation at the hospital, it was successfully reattached. I’d given my hands a good wash after that incident, but I couldn’t scrub the memory from my brain.
Mr Harrison had been understandably grateful to me for ensuring that he hadn’t suffered a permanent penectomy and gifted me a lifetime membership of the nudist community. I was yet to take up the offer, being rather fussy about exactly who I allowed to see me naked. Currently Jake was the only one on the list.
I laid on my back, stunned for a moment from my hard landing, gazing up at the heavens as the rain fell on my face. An angel appeared in my vision and I smiled up at it because it was watching over me. It smiled back. Suddenly coming to my senses, I realised with a horrified start that it was in fact Red, his beautiful face surrounded by his golden hair, leaning over the fence looking down at me, grinning. I scrambled hurriedly to my feet, flinging myself behind the pool filter shed, narrowly avoiding a bullet that thudded into the thatched straw. He wouldn’t shoot to kill, but he would shoot to disable so he could take his time with me afterwards. I wasn’t going to let that happen because he was a bloody terrible shot and he’d probably kill me. I took refuge behind the shed, hunched over, my breathing ragged. Water dripped off me everywhere.
With shaking hands, I pulled out my phone and pressed speed dial for the police house.
The Sarge took a while to answer, groaning sleepily when he realised it was me. “I didn’t feel like running this morning, Tessie,” he grumbled straight away, not bothering to greet me. “It’s raining in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“Red Bycraft’s after me,” I said, speaking quickly and keeping my voice low, my eyes constantly on Red. “I’m in the pool area at the nudist community on Beach Road, but I’m going to have to move on to somewhere else. I’m not safe here. He’s about to climb the fence. He’s armed with some kind of handgun and I only have my knife. Hurry!”
He hung up and I knew he was mobilising, stopping only long enough to gather his gear. But even though we lived in a small town, it would still be ten minutes at least before he turned up. I could count on him to take me seriously any time I rang him for help, night or day. When he’d first arrived in town, he’d thought I was crazy for carrying a knife with me everywhere, but it hadn’t taken him too long to realise that I wasn’t hysterical or paranoid – the Bycrafts really were out to get me.
Red had shoved his gun into the waistband of his jeans to free up both hands as he climbed over the fence. I watched him carefully, thinking that I should take the opportunity to flee. But I badly wanted to see him banged up again and not roaming around free, mocking me. So instead, I made a snap decision and rushed out to ram him at the very moment he landed with a thump, unsteady on his feet on the wet pavers. The force of my impact made him slip to the ground heavily. As he fell, he grabbed out at me, clutching my arms and pulling me down on top of him.
I immediately reached towards his jeans to secure his gun, but he moved swiftly, capturing me by the wrists, clasping me cruelly.
“No, you don’t, lovely,” he warned. “You don’t want me telling Jakey that you were trying to get your hands down my pants, do you?”
He shouldn’t have mentioned Jake, because I didn’t need reminding at that moment