to get closer to the big tree. I started to feel a little claustrophobic as I got elbowed in the side.
"This is germ central," Dad, always the doctor, said, wringing his hands. "Crowds are not sanitary."
"Okay, well, let's look around," Mom said, and I suggested we see the toy department. Big mistake. There were more people there, returning Christmas presents and using their gift money. Mom sighed.
"Can I go to the Little Rose cosmetics counter?" I asked. "Our counter at home is always sold out of stuff."
She nodded and went with Dad to listen to the piano player in the middle of the store.
In the cosmetics section, there was a huge ad with the new Little Rose model, who was also a former Ingénue model, sitting on the beach with gleamy, flawless skin and glossy lips. The model's name was Jem Jade Juliette, and they were calling her the "New Talisa Milan" in all the magazines. I thought that was kind of weird, because it seemed like it meant Talisa should move aside for her or something. Jem seemed cool in her TV interviews, though. I went to the Little Rose cosmetics counter and asked for the Taupe on a Rope lip gloss Talisa was wearing on the cover of Young and Fun magazine. The salesperson asked if it was for me, and I nodded.
"It's more of a color for someone with Winter Pansy coloring," she said. "And your coloring is Spring Daffodil. You might like Tink's Wink instead. It would be better for your fair complexion. More of a light rosy shade, whereas the taupe one is meant for someone with an olive skin tone."
I hated the way makeup people said "fair" as if it were a dirty word, so I asked how much the glosses were.
"Fourteen dollars."
If I bought them both, then I'd spend most of the money I had saved up. I bit my lip.
"I'll take them both."
"If you spend just two dollars more, you can get the free gift," she said.
I felt embarrassed as I asked for the cheapest item they sold. She said it was the nail enamel. Why didn't they just say "nail polish"? I asked how much it was, and it was twelve bucks.
"The gift is a free makeup bag with blush, eye shadow, and a brow pencil."
It was the same blush shade Talisa wore in the article about her. Sold.
I texted my mom I was going to the bathroom and went to the restroom to put the gloss on. It made me look dead. Mom came into the bathroom.
"Landry, I â " She stopped, inhaled, and put the back of her hand against my forehead. "You feel okay, babes?"
"I'm fine. I think it's the new lip gloss. It kinda sucks all of the color out of my face."
She stepped back. "Yeah, not your shade. Maybe if you used a lip liner or a lipstick underneath it."
"Maybe, but Talisa didn't need a lip liner with it. She just put a dab of it on and was the picture of perfection. Of course, she also has flawless olive skin and gorgeous dark hair."
"I felt the same way when I was a kid," Mom said. "I always wanted the opposite of what I had, too, but one day you'll appreciate your own skin and hair color. It's just a phase you're going through."
I hated when she said something was just "a phase" for me, but then again, Talisa did say in a magazine she grew up wanting to have a peaches-and-cream complexion, so maybe Mom was right that nobody appreciates what they have when they're younger.
"Doesn't Little Rose Cosmetics have a good return policy?" Mom asked. "We could go back, and you could exchange it."
I stared at my washed-out complexion in the mirror. The lip gloss almost made my mouth disappear. Why couldn't I look like Talisa or the girls at school who didn't even need lipstick or gloss? Why couldn't I look like anybody but me?
Chapter Five
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Mom took me back to the counter to return the lip gloss. She was going to go up with me, but she got a call and wandered off to take it. I felt stupid walking up to the counter with a return. The lady who had helped me before wasn't around, but there were three other women working the counter, and two were with other customers. I