Beautiful Torment Read Online Free Page B

many of my peer’s parents do.
     
    Lunch that day was oddly silent, with so many people missing. I didn’t even get halfway through next period lab before another announcement came over the loudspeaker: We are all to report to one of the two gyms based on our last name. The school, the Country, is on lockdown, and we have to wait for a parent or guardian to pick us up. 
    Mr. Harrington stopped his lesson as we all gathered our things to leave.
    “Luci,” I meet his unusually warm gaze, so different than the typical annoyed looks I get. I’ve never seen him look so gentle, especially at me. “Are you okay?”
    I nod, even though I'm not. None of us are.
    I'd only later come to realize why he asked only me this. Why, despite everyone else also wearing frightened and sad looks, he only noticed mine.
     
    I was so relieved when I ran into Gracie in the gym. Even though we haven’t been getting along lately, her hug feels comforting and familiar.
    Dad closed the store early and came home to sit with us. We all watched the news until Mom made us turn it off.
    "Enough," we're the first words we heard from her since we got home. 
    This all feels like a nightmare.
     
    There was school the following day, even though I was so sure they would cancel. I mean, how can we go to school? How can we go about doing something so normal and ordinary after something so bad and tragic happened?
    No one cared about anyone's lack of having homework done. It was obvious no one did anything last night except watch the news. Some teachers tried to take yesterday’s events off our minds by continuing with their normal lessons, while others wanted nothing more than to talk about it.
    We all couldn’t help but notice the empty seats, where it was obvious a parent worked in the city. How many were actually in the World Trade Center? How many loved ones were lost?
     
     
     
    To this day, I don't understand how some teachers moved past 9/11 so quickly. At the time, I was furious at them for being so uncaring. How can one go about life after this? After so much has changed? What's the point? Does your silly lesson mean anything when bigger things are going on?
    In the following days we were told to show no fear, and not to let this change us, or affect us. We have to stay strong. It all happened too quickly in my eyes. How can we simply get past this?
    Because I can't.
    I can’t move on.
    Maybe this was the start of it - of me not being able to move on, or maybe I've always been like this - stuck on things after they happen. 
    Never letting go.
     
     
     
    By next Monday, everything is back to normal, or new normal, as I call it. Not quite the same as it was before, but how it's clearly going to be from now on.
    Ms. Harrington is the sweetest of all. I can tell she’s sort of like me in that she has trouble moving past things. She always wants to talk and tells everyone that her door is always open. All of her students like her, and it’s easy to see why. She’s so easy-going and wonderful.
    Meanwhile, I just try to understand why all I do is sit in her class and think about her brother. Is her door open to help me comprehend that?
     
    In chemistry, we get our periodic table quizzes back and my face falls when I see my 98. I know I got them all correct! I study the paper with a confused look as I meet the big, red, circled -2.
    I almost rip it to shreds.
    I did get all he symbols right, but I spelled “sulfer” instead of “sulfur".
    What the hell?!
    This isn't English. Your sister teaches that! I shouldn't be tested on spelling . If he just had to point out my mistake, fine, but why deduct the two points?
    Not even a month into school and adios to my perfect grades. Maybe I shouldn't even bother from here on out, but I tell myself September is too early to give up completely.
     
    When the bell rings I nod to Chloe that she should go ahead without me. I’m going to voice my unhappiness to Mr. Harrington, despite not really wanting to