Archie's Unbelievably Freaky Week Read Online Free Page A

dog.
    ‘You’ll never believe what’s happened!’ she said.
    ‘If this is about Archie, then I probably won’t,’ said Mr Gunn. ‘What’s he done this time?’
    Mrs Hemp pointed dramatically to the terrier at her feet. ‘He’s turned into a dog,’ she said.
    ‘You’re right,’ said Mr Gunn. ‘I don’t believe it.’
    ‘I didn’t either at first,’ said Mrs Hemp, ‘but it’s the only explanation.’ She sat herself in a chair opposite the Head Teacher and gestured to the dog to sit beside her. ‘If you want, you can ask him yourself.’

    ‘Ask him?’ said Mr Gunn.
    ‘I know he can’t speak English,’ said Mrs Hemp, ‘not while he’s a dog, but I’ve given him a sort of code to use. One
woof
means “yes”, and two means “no”. Go on! Ask him if he’s Archie Coates!’
    Mr Gunn looked at the dog, who was sitting obediently on the floor. ‘Are you Archie Coates?’ he asked.
    ‘
Woof!
’ said the dog.

    ‘Really?’
    ‘
Woof!
’
    ‘You’re not just . . . making it up?’
    ‘
Woof, woof!
’ said the dog.
    The Head Teacher leaned back in his chair and frowned. ‘A lot of dogs bark when you talk to them,’ he said. ‘It’s a coincidence.’
    ‘No, it’s not,’ said Mrs Hemp, firmly. ‘I’ve been asking him questions for the last ten minutes and he’s answered every one of them correctly! The poor boy has turned into a dog. And it’s not the first time this has happened to him!’
    Mr Gunn took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘What makes you think that?’
    ‘I heard him telling Cyd about it in the playground this morning,’ said Mrs Hemp. ‘I heard him describe, in some detail, how he turned into a dog last night, how his parents threw him out of the house and how he had to search for food . . .’
    ‘Children have very vivid imaginations,’ said Mr Gunn.
    ‘I agree,’ said Mrs Hemp, ‘and I presumed that’s all it was. Until lunchtime.’ She leaned forward and continued in a low, confidential tone. ‘That was when I saw this dog trotting down the corridor towards my classroom. I followed it, went inside and do you know what I saw?’
    ‘A dog?’ suggested Mr Gunn.
    ‘Archie!’ said Mrs Hemp. ‘No sign of the dog. Just Archie Coates. And when he’d gone I searched the entire classroom. But there was no dog! I saw a dog go in, but only a boy went out.’
    ‘That is certainly odd,’ Mr Gunn agreed, ‘but as I told you this morning—’
    ‘And this afternoon,’ continued Mrs Hemp, ignoring the interruption, ‘I saw Archie going into the men’s cloakroom on the ground floor.’
    ‘What was he doing in there?’ asked Mr Gunn. The cloakroom on the ground floor was only supposed to be used by teachers.
    ‘That’s what I wanted to know,’ said Mrs Hemp. ‘So I waited outside for a while, but then I heard noises – animal noises – and when I went inside . . .’
    ‘Yes?’
    ‘When I went inside I found this dog’ – Mrs Hemp pointed dramatically to the animal at her feet – ‘sitting on a pile of school clothes, and no sign of Archie! There is only one possible explanation. The boy turned into a dog and his clothes fell off around him.’ She looked down at the terrier. ‘That is what happened, isn’t it?’
    ‘
Woof!
’ said the dog.
    Mr Gunn opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, then consulted a timetable on his desk.
    ‘According to this,’ he said, ‘Archie is doing Sports at the moment with Miss Roberts, out on the field. Perhaps the first thing to do is find out if—’
    There was a knock at the door, and Cyd appeared.
    ‘Miss Roberts sent me to tell you,’ she said, ‘that Archie’s supposed to be doing Sports out on the field, but he hasn’t turned up.’

    ‘There you are!’ Mrs Hemp turned in her chair to face Cyd. ‘Don’t worry, dear! He’s safe here with us.’
    ‘Is he?’ Cyd looked quickly round the Head Teacher’s office. ‘Where?’
    ‘Here,’ Mrs Hemp pointed to the