the inside. When a direct order comes down, you really donât want to disobeyâunless youâre feeling lucky, punk. And punks are never lucky.
Before I dig in, I look over my shoulder, âWould you like to join me, Harrison?â
Itâs not the first time Iâve asked recently, but his answer is always the same.
âThe invitation is greatly appreciated, but if I accept, my father may disown me. And Iâm rather fond of my father.â
I nod. âGo enjoy your own dinner, then. I wonât be needing anything further.â
With the slightest bow, he goes inside.
After a few minutes and a few bites, the quiet settles inânot even the crickets are out tonight. I donât like silence any more than I like sitting still.
The four of us used to go out a lot after work. Dinner, drinks, sometimes dancing. But these days there are cribs to put together, kids to drive around, and wedding plans to make. There are other people I could hang out withâacquaintances, old school buddies, women whoâd be thrilled to get my call. But those options just donât seem worth the effort.
The silence feels stiflingâitchyâlike a heavy wool blanket.
So I stand up, grab my plate, and head inside. Because as awesome as my backyard isâdinner in front of the TV seems even better.
3
O n Saturday, I have Harrison drop me at my parentsâ estate about an hour after the party starts. He has some errands to run, so I tell him to goâwith strict instructions to pick me up in exactly three hours.
Itâs not that I donât like my family, theyâre great. But only in small doses. If I spend too much time with them . . . well, youâll see.
My steps echo through the immense marble foyer. I pass the music room, the front parlor, the conservatory, the library where a portrait hangs of me at five years old, dressed in blue overalls and a capâlooking like the pansy-ass kid in the Dutch Boy paint advertisements but with dark hair. Iâve offered my mother the firstborn child Iâll probably never have to take it downâbut she wonât budge. If Stanton, Jake, or Sofia ever lay eyes on it, Iâm screwed.
At the back of the house thereâs a bustling energy coming from the kitchen that you can feel more than hearâservants shuffling, refilling trays of champagne and caviar and carrying buckets of ice to keep the lobster and oyster table fresh.
Outside, there are tents and tables, a band, and a fully stocked bar with two bartenders. What there isnât are streamers or shiny balloons, no clowns or magiciansâeven though this is supposed to be a kidsâ party. Because in reality, this kind of party is for the two hundred adults milling about, chatting, shaking hands, kissing cheeks, and stabbing backs.
Yes, I said two hundredâjust friends and family.
See, my father is the youngest of eight. My mother, the youngest of twelve. And both sides are in excellent healthâthey all live for fucking ever. Which means thereâs nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, great nieces and nephews, and cousins galoreâand the gangâs all here.
Besides good health, thereâs another trait thatâs strong in my family. One might say theyâre . . . eccentric. Crazier than shit-house rats works too.
Letâs take my Aunt Bette, for example. Sheâs the woman in the tan dress, looking up into the branches of that maple treeâtalking to the birds like a homeless woman in a park. She has four kids and she doesnât speak to any of themânot for years. She prefers the company of her racing pigeons. I think sheâs won awards.
Itâs important to have a purpose in life. Boredom has killed more in my social class than cancer and heart disease combined. Because most people work for things like food, a house, and clothes, and working for those necessities instills drive and ambition. It gives you a