Hannah. I hope your life is wonderful from here on out. You deserve to feel the way you do.”
“I know life can’t be perfect. People aren’t perfect. Children aren’t perfect. I strive to make my family happy, and that makes me happy. That’s all I can ask for.”
“I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. When the school is finished, I’ll find a place in town.”
“I’m not talking about you, Louisa. I don't mind you being here.”
“Your husband wants to marry me off.”
Her mouth fell open. “Were you listening to our conversation?”
“I heard a little.”
“You busybody.”
“I am. I’m sorry.” I grinned, not being able to help myself. “I’ll try to keep out of trouble, but it’s not always easy.”
She laughed, “I can’t help feeling you’re planning something. Whatever it is, I don't think Nathan will be happy about it.”
“I might have an idea or two.”
“The sooner you’re situated in the schoolroom, the better. If you don’t intend to remarry, then a career that keeps you busy is a wise idea.”
“I shall never marry again. I won’t be lied to by a man, if I can help it.”
“Not all men are like Henry was. There was something…strange about him.”
“It angers me that I was mislead for so long. I didn’t even suspect a thing. And it wasn’t only Henry. His mother was just as culpable. I’ve never met a more deceptive family.” I whispered, “What a pack of liars.”
“They were trying to protect their reputation. They used you for that purpose.”
“I don't care one wit about the Claytons. They can go to blazes and take their reputations with them. I’ve now lost all my acquaintances because of that horrid affair. I was the victim, and I ended up with the blame.” My arms crossed over my chest, while my heart pounded with indignation.
“It wasn’t fair what happened. I agree with you on that score, but don’t let it cloud your judgment on a future husband. Just because Henry Clayton was a lying, deceiving lecher, doesn’t mean all men are like that.”
I gave her a doubtful look. “Good for them.”
“There are some eligible bachelors in town. I met a few after Frank died, although Nathan wasn’t too happy about it.” She smiled. “That was the night I realized I was hopelessly in love with him.”
“You and Paulina are the lucky ones. You’ve settled nicely with dependable men, until they prove otherwise.” I pursed my lips, as unpleasant thoughts drifted through my mind. “I’ll be perfectly content to teach other people’s children and embroider cushions. I don’t mind being an old maid.”
Hannah sat forward, her brows furrowing. “You’re far too young to think like this. Don’t be ridiculous, Louisa. There’s a perfect man for you out there. He might not be what you were expecting, but you won’t be able to deny the way you feel.”
“I’m quite resigned to my fate, Hannah. You needn’t worry about me.” That was not what she had wanted to hear, her frown told me as much.
The greatest accomplishment for a female was an advantageous marriage. This was her crowning moment, the epitome of womanhood. It was the only goal my sex aspired to, but I had already done that, and look where it had gotten me! I would never apply my energies in this direction again. I had far better things to do.
After Nathan had locked the henhouse and the smokehouse, I suspected the Montgomery children would now be quite desperate for food. It troubled me endlessly, worrying about how they would now eat, and why that father of theirs did not provide better for them. On the way to church, I sat between Hannah and Nathan, with Letty in her arms. Unbeknownst to them, I had packed a few things in a basket. There was a jug of apple cider, a loaf of bread with fresh butter, and a thick slice of ham, perfectly cured. I suspected I would see the children on the road, and, as we drew near their house, I kept an eye out for them.
Nathan chewed on a