All That She Desires: The Stranger Read Online Free Page B

so fake I don't even know what the real me
is."
     
    "Man, you're heavy," he said. "That's
so funny. I listened to some of your songs just now, and they're all these
super-sweet love songs. They're like love candy they're so sweet. But you think
love is bullshit."
     
    "Well, why do you think I feel like such a
fake? I have to go all over the place and sing these stupid love songs, and I
don't even fucking believe in love anymore. Hell, I don't even love my parents.
They're a couple of pimps. They've been pimping me out to the music industry
since I was like, twelve."
     
    They passed the joint back and forth until it was
gone and then sat down at the kitchen table. Mike looked bleary-eyed.
"Sorry," he said. "It's been a while since I smoked. I wish I
could, I don't know, give you some really great advice about your situation.
How old are you, anyway?"
     
    "Twenty-one," she said. "You?"
     
    "Twenty-five. I wish I could like, recommend
some good coming-of-age novels for you or something. That's what it sounds like
you need. You need some really good novels about young people rejecting the
chains of society and finding out how to do what's true for them. I can think
of some of those novels, but they're all kind of... male. I can't think of any
good coming of age novels about young women. I'm sure there are some, but
that's not what I look for, I guess."
     
    "You're high," she said. "I don't
know either. I don't read much. My manager gave me a couple of these self-help
books that he wants me to read while I'm up here, but I'm like, fuck that. I
just want to get wasted and just... be nothing for a while."
     
    He shrugged. "Well, that's a form of
self-discovery. It's very Zen. Just be nothing."
     
    "Cool."
     
    "It's too bad that you don't get along with
your folks though," he said. "This divorce thing has been rough for
me, and it's been nice to talk to them about stuff. It's nice to have someone
on your side."
     
    "I don't really feel that way about my folks.
They make me feel like a product or a brand, not a person. When I was sixteen
my mom tried to talk me into getting breast implants, can you believe that?
Like I didn't have enough body issues already."
     
    "That's terrible," he said.
     
    She nodded. "I cut them loose when I turned
eighteen. They managed basically everything in my life, and I was able to
basically fire them, which is sick, isn't it? I just fired them as my
management team, hired other people, paid them off, and cut them out of my
life."
     
    "Do you think you're better off?"
     
    She got a glass from the cupboard and poured herself
a drink. "Not really," she said. "I'm a total headcase. But at
least I don't have to feel like I'm being whored out all the time."
     
    "That's really messy," Mike said.
"All the same, I'm glad you refused to get the breast implants. There's no
need for a young girl to do that to herself."
     
    "Right," she said. "And so what if
I've got small boobs? My music still sells, so who cares?"
     
    "I don't think the way you feel about your body
should be related to music sales," he said, "and people shouldn't
choose what music they like because of boobs. But you made the right choice
anyway."
     
    "Right," she said. "I forgot, you've
seen me naked. Do you think I need bigger boobs?"
     
    He laughed and shook his head. "No. You've got
an amazing body."
     
    "You're very sweet." It was strange, but
receiving the compliment from this man she barely knew, who didn't seem
distracted by her celebrity, and who didn't want to fawn over her because of
who she was, made Fiona feel very warm inside. Her legs were crossed under the
table, and her thighs involuntarily rubbed together. She smiled at him.
     
    "What?" he asked.
     
    "Nothing," she said. "I just decided
that you're very cute."
     
    "You decided?"
     
    "Yeah," she said, and they both laughed.
"I decided."
     
    "Well," he said. "Well, thanks. I
um," he looked at his beer, and drank down the last mouthful, "I'm
just going to grab