All Fall Down Read Online Free Page B

with a fancy silver lighter.
    â€˜Fair enough.’
    â€˜And don’t leave that jacket slung on that chair.’
    â€˜Fair enough,’ he repeated nastily. It made no difference that he would find her clothes on the floor of the bedroom, her pots of make-up and lipsticks open on the dressing-table. He’d stopped arguing, but he couldn’t disguise his tone of voice.
    â€˜Anyhow, I can’t see how you expect Jimmie to behave himself, the way you carry on. You never tell anyone what you’re up to, do you?’
    â€˜Must run in the family, then.’
    â€˜Well, do you?’
    â€˜That’s ’cos I never get up to anything. I work too bleeding hard, keeping you in nylon stockings. I’m always in the bleeding shop.’
    â€˜Or at the Duke.’
    â€˜Can’t a man have a drink?’ He was weary, sick of it; the well-worn track of their bickering. They would soon come full circle, he knew. So he went for the whisky bottle in the sideboard, which was also part of the routine.
    â€˜One drink or ten?’
    â€˜As many as I like.’
    â€˜And treat the whole pub while you’re at it.’
    He shrugged, knocked back the drink and felt it burn his throat.
    â€˜I know your game. Buy a round, tell a few jokes, good old Tommy O’Hagan. Then come staggering home, fit for nothing.’
    â€˜I’m not staggering, am I? Look, can you see me stagger?’ He went up close to her chair, while she made a show of shrinking back in disgust.
    â€˜No wonder I don’t like to be here.’ She pushed him away.
    â€˜That’s right, you go off and enjoy yourself.’ He walked away, keeping his back to her. ‘Get your glad rags on, why don’t you? You’ve still got time if you’re quick.’
    But Dorothy let the challenge drop. She sat drooped forward, lethargic and bitter. Minus her make-up and smart clothes, and without the fire of resentment fully stoked, she looked all of her forty-five years. Her eyes seemed to be growing smaller, there were lines underneath them and a downturn to her once full and attractive mouth. Her figure too was slackening, though her legs were still good. Sometimes Tommy would find her in front of the bathroom mirror, examining herself from every angle, obviously angry at what she saw. He glanced over his shoulder and felt an unexpected pang of sympathy, which he warded off by going for his jacket.
    â€˜Where are you off to now?’ Involuntarily she grasped the arms of her chair.
    â€˜To fetch Jim, why?’ A thought struck him. Was she scared now that it was dark? Planes could come more easily under the cover of darkness and drop their terrible cargo; it stood to reason.
    â€˜Yes, of course, to fetch Jimmie!’ She made it plain that she didn’t believe a word.
    â€˜Look, I am, right? I want him here to talk through what to do in one of these air raids one more time. Knowing him, he won’t bother with his gas mask or nothing. He needs to get his head screwed on, so we don’t have to worry.’
    â€˜That’s right, worry about him, why don’t you?’ She threw the jibe at him, which might have been genuine jealousy once; her feeling left out because of the attention he gave to his kid brother. But now this was just another well-worn groove. Since this was a bad day, however, a day that would transform all their lives, he made an effort.
    He went across again and crouched beside her. ‘I worry about you as well, you know that. I don’t want nothing to happen to you neither.’
    She looked at him with disbelieving eyes. ‘Sure?’
    â€˜Sure I’m sure.’
    â€˜Sometimes I think you want me dead and out of the way.’
    â€˜Well, I don’t.’ He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. ‘All right?’
    â€˜Sometimes I think to myself I wouldn’t mind if
I
was dead.’ Her eyes filled up, her voice choked.
    â€˜Yes