After Love Read Online Free Page A

and—’
    â€˜And?’
    â€˜Oh – I almost forgot.’
    I suddenly remembered the bouquet I had put into my coat pocket. I pulled it out. The cellophane wrapper had slipped and one of the flowers was hanging precariously from its stem.
    â€˜I’m sorry.’
    â€˜Don’t be silly.’ Anna stopped, snapped the broken flower off and ate it. Then she started to laugh and cough.
    â€˜Do you need a drink?’ I asked.
    â€˜No. No,’ she laughed. ‘But I want to know who told you to bring me carnations?’
    â€˜No one,’ I lied.
    An old woman who sold flowers at a kiosk at the University had recommended them. ‘Take these, boyfriend,’ she had told me. ‘They’re beautiful. I’m sure she’ll like them. Don’t be shy; give her the bouquet and kiss her hand.’ When she saw my reluctance, she repeated it: ‘Yes, kiss her hand. Do you understand?’
    The woman warned me not to be out too late that night. I knew why: a maniacal killer was roaming the streets, attacking women and their companions. Eleven women, mostly young and wearing wedding rings, had been raped, killed or mutilated. As usual, nothing had been reported in the newspapers, leaving people free to spread wild rumours about the victims and the killer. Some thought he was an escapee from a mental hospital, while others suspected a runaway from a convict train passing through Moscow. Others believed there were two or even three killers, trying to outdo one another. The most bizarre theory was that the killer was a transvestite who dressed and behaved like a woman during the day but at night turned into a man.
    When an official from the militia reported the arrest of a suspect, no one in the city believed they had got the right man. Women were still refusing to walk alone at night. Many carried bottles of vinegar or packets of hot peppers or chillies in their bags, if they had to be out.
    By the time Anna and I left the Metro station it was nearly midnight. But nothing happened to us that night. We waited together for a bus which arrived right on time and took us safely to the last stop, a short walk from the apartments where she lived. We climbed the dark stairs to the second floor and before unlocking the door she showed me the doorbell. ‘To call me you have to ring the bell twice,’ she instructed. She entered first to check if there was anyone up, then whispered for me to come in.
    Her room had a big window facing north, looking out over a little park with two swings, a fountain and a large oak tree.
    We were both tired and slightly embarrassed. I know she would have let me into her bed if I had asked. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to make the first move.
    I was glad that she didn’t draw the curtains across the window. Lying on my mattress I could see the enormous oak nodding its long branch like an elephant taking a stroll.
    Neither of us could sleep. Soon Anna began to sing, even though she knew that the retired nurse who slept in the adjoining room would complain in the morning. I turned on my side to look at her, then got up to sit with my back against the wall. She continued to sing her song. When she had finished I asked for more. She sang four songs, five. I came up close to her and sat down beside her. ‘I’m tired,’ she finally said. ‘Thank you,’ I said and kissed her hand.
    Then I returned to my mattress and fell asleep at once. The next I knew I was awake and she was standing beside me holding a blanket. ‘I knew you wouldn’t ask,’ she said and pushed me over to make room for herself on the mattress. She turned her body away from me and I put my arm around her. I slept again, inhaling her with every breath.
    â€˜I’m filled to the brim with you,’ I wanted to tell her first thing in the morning. But as usual it was she who broke the silence. ‘I saw you curled up on that mattress with the blanket