Across the River of Yesterday Read Online Free Page B

bear alone. He experienced a sudden aching regret as he realized what that meant. It was time.
    He cradled her cheek against his shoulder, his palm cupping the back of her head. Thank heaven, she had come to him. She was very close to breaking, and she mustn’t be alone when it happened. “Now, we’re going to talk a little. Is that all right with you?”
    “Yes.” The assent was muffled against his shoulder.
    “I think it’s time we got to know each other. I was born on a little ranch in Texas and spent most of my childhood there. We lost the ranch when I was thirteen, and my parents died that same year. I was in an orphanage until I was sixteen and then wandered around the country, taking any job that came along.” His fingers were soothingly rubbing her temple. “Then Vietnamand some more wandering. Recently I decided it would be better to be rich than to be poor, so I guess I’ll have to settle down for a while. Ross will be very relieved. He has a taste for the good things of life. There. Now you know all about Gideon Brandt, Esquire.” He looked down at her. “Have I talked you to sleep?”
    “No.”
    “Are you an only child?”
    “No, I have a younger brother. I don’t see much of him. He attends school in England. My stepfather was awarded custody of—” She broke off and he felt her stiffen against him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
    “You don’t have to talk about it, you don’t have to talk about anything.” His voice was very soft. “But it’s time we shot those bushwhackers out of the saddle and there’s only one way to do it, Serena.”
    “Gideon, I—”
    “Shhh. You’ve got to invite them in and let them take their shot at you. You’ve got to remember. Then you’ll be in control again.”
    She could feel the panic rising within her. “
No
!”
    “Yes.” His voice was totally certain and she suddenly remembered that Ross had called him relentless. “It’s time to face it. Then it will be all over and you can start to heal. You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m holding you. Now,
remember
, Serena.”
    She began to shake as if in the throes of malaria. “Gideon …”
    “Don’t talk about it, unless you want to, but admit to yourself that it happened. It
did
happen.”
    “No!” The word was uttered through clenched teeth. “Don’t make me!”
    “You were in your nightgown, and your feet were bare.”
    And she remembered.
    The tears were suddenly raining down her cheeks and harsh sobs were wracking her body. “Ugly. Oh, God, so much ugliness. Gideon …”
    “It’s all right, baby.” His voice was a low croon in her ear. “It’s all over, it’s gone now.”
    “It will never be gone. I’ll always see …”
    “No, you’ll always remember, but after a while you won’t see it anymore. There are so many beautiful things in the world, and I’ll show them all to you. Whenever you start to remember, I’ll pull another one out of the hat and then it will fade away again.” His voice was a level above a whisper as his hand stroked her hair. “Do you believe me, Serena?”
    “I don’t know. I just don’t …” The sobs were no longer tearing at her body, but she couldn’t seem to stop the tears from flowing. “I can’t
think.
”
    “Then I’ll quit my jawing and let you rest.” His lips touched the top of her head. “I’m not going to hassle you, baby. Relax now. You can think about what I said later. Right now, we’ll talk about something else. What do you want to do?”
    The sudden switch of subjects bewildered her. “Do?”
    “You know, do you want to swim the English Channel or be a clown in a circus or be the first lady to go to Mars?”
    “Oh.” She wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. “I’ve always wanted to be an artist. Ilove to paint. My mother took me to the Louvre once when I was a little girl and someday I’m …” She trailed off, floundering. She was actually thinking about the future, she realized with