tight square when we are together, each one of us protecting her own corner, holding fast to a pattern shaped by birth order, personality, and the gravity of inertia. When there are only two or even three of us together, we are able, with some effort, to reach out past our positions, but when we are four, our combined elements are often more like oil and water, salt and sugar, or gunpowder and spark. Predictably volatile, in other words. The only question is what will be the trigger.
Lavander is still going on about her waxing. This time, sheâs cornered Déja whose friend Katie is the one who performed the actual tearing out of hair.
âHow can she do that?â Lavander wants to know. âHow can she get all over peopleâs crotches without getting sick? And sheâs totally cool about it, says it doesnât bother her at all.â
âWell, it is her job,â Déja says. âBut, you know, Iâm angry at her and I donât want to talk about how great she is because she has not been a good friend to me lately.â
âWell, can you please make up with her?â Lavander says testily.
This is something of a hallmark of my sistersâ and my relationship with the rest of the world. If one of us is happy with a hairstylist, doctor, or beautician, the rest of us will usually patronize that person as well. Business from one of us almost always translates to business from us all. Conversely, if one of us has a bad experience with any of the above, there is pressure for all of us to drop out. Katie is proving to be a sticky exception. Déja has known Katie since high school (and sheâs shared many family meals with us), but their friendship has always been a bit erratic. Theyâre on the outs now, but Lavander and Maya havebecome so enthralled with her skills as a beautician that theyâve even offered to go in on a portable wax pot for her so that she can make house calls.
âIâm not going to stop going to her,â Lavander says now with a touch of stridency creeping into her voice, âso I hope you can work it out.â
âDo what you like,â Déja says. âI donât care.â
But of course she does care and Lavander knows it. If the current tiff isnât worked out, Lavander, who is fiercely loyal, especially to her baby sister, will have to find someone else. This is always the bottom line.
âWhereâs Blaze?â Déja says.
âIn his room,â I answer. This is Blazeâs usual pattern when everyone comes over here. He stays in his room and lets everybody come to him, one by one. Individually, he has a completely different relationship with each one of my sisters, and seeing them one at a time allows him to control the conversation more easily than when they are in a group. Blaze is no fool; he wised up to the âWhoâs your favorite auntie?â question when he was still a baby. âYou are,â heâd say. âBut donât tell the others.â
âWell, Iâm going to go say hello to him,â Déja says and disappears down the hall.
There is a too-brief silence before Maya says, âIâm making macaroni and cheese, I hope you can handle it.â She turns to Lavander. âDonât tell me youâre not hungry.â
âWhy? Do I have to leave if Iâm not hungry? Will you throw me out?â
A preemptive strike and a counterpunch. Should be an interesting evening.
âIâm just saying, Iâve made a lot of food here,â Maya backpedals, âand I want it to get eaten. Because you know what itâs like living with Debra. She never eats anything. Doesnât believe in meals.â
A brilliant deflection. Now Iâm in the fray, too.
âItâs true,â Lavander says, turning to me. âI never see you eat. You have food issues.â
âOh, please,â I sigh. âI do not. I just canât eat continuously or think