A Rebel In The Roses (Black Rebel Riders' MC Book 8) Read Online Free Page B

anything.
    I’m a prisoner in my own body and mind.
    I just want to forget who I was.
    I want to forget I was fathered by a beast.
    I just want to be me.
    Whoever in the fuck that is.
    I used to have hopes and dreams.
    I used to be so full of life.
    My father broke me.
    The memories burn in my chest stealing my breaths away.
    The Roadhouse appears in front of us. Harley’s line the lot.
    A few brother’s standing around outside smoking give me a dirty look as we pass them by.
    Yeah, I know I’m not wanted.
    Story of my life.
    My own mother gave me up at birth.
    Unwanted.
    The forgotten son.
    She could have told me who she was when she first laid eyes on me.
    She chose not to.
    She could have saved me from so much pain had she just opened her mouth and said the words.
    “We’re here,” she says with a weak smile.
    I look up to a shitty trailer among a row of others.
    This is home now.
    This is where someday begins.
    I get out of the car and walk up the creaky steps behind my mother. A teenage boy sits on the couch in the living room playing a video game, wearing a headset.
    “Sup, dude,” he says not even looking at me. Maybe he’s talking to one of his friends.
    “Jamie, get off the game and show Patrick his room.”
    So she does have a motherly bone in her body, just not one for me.
    The kid rolls his eyes, but throws his controller to the side, and shoves up from the couch. Potato chip crumbs fall from his shirt and onto the floor.
    Sunshine sucks in a breath and lets out a tsk.
    I move past her with my board and small bag of items from the pharmacy.
    I don’t have anything here.
    I feel like such a fucking loser.
    I had things at my old house. Sunshine offered to get them for me, but I don’t want any part of my former life.
    I just feel so damned lost.
    I’ve lost my center.
    Everything just seem so out of reach.
    I take a deep breath and follow the boy down the hall. He points to a closed door and says it’s the bathroom. The next room he says is ours. Fuck, I gotta share with this little shit.
    He appears as happy about it as I am.  I think his dark blue eyes are going to get stuck if he rolls them back one more time. His hair is shaved short in a buzz cut. I can’t even tell if he has blond or brown hair, not that it matters I guess.
    “Your bed is on the left.” He flops down on the other bed on the right that has Batman sheets on it.
    Mine has Ninja Turtles, and I start to laugh, but catch myself. I don’t want him to make fun of the way I sound.
    “I guess you not talking is a plus. You won’t argue with me or rat me out to Sunshine. She’s like a damn drill sergeant. You’re lucky you didn’t have her breathing down your throat as a kid man.”
    Yeah, that’s me the lucky one .

3
    Dawn
    When I was a girl my mother disappeared more times than I can count. She loved pushing a needle into her arm and feeling the burn more than she ever loved me. If she could see me now, would she even be proud of me? Would she care that I’m following in her footsteps, chasing the dragon, and spreading my wings?
    “Look momma, look at what you taught me!” I laugh as JT shoots liquid fire through my veins. If she could only see me now.
    I see the look JT is giving me, the one that says he is nearly fed up with my antics. I don’t know why he bothers to stay. But here he is, holding me tight and loving me, even if he knows the things we do aren’t right.
    I make no apologies.
    I am my mother’s daughter.
    I flip the picture I found of her over and check the date. It was snapped nearly twenty-five years ago, and I am every bit her spitting image.
    Same long blonde hair.
    Same big breasts.
    Same craving for the darker side of life.
    Sometimes I think my dad, Romeo, hates me for it—looking like her.
    He likes to think he can control me.
    Shelter me.
    Keep me as his little girl forever.
    I’m not a little girl.
    I’ve not been a child for quite some time.
    In California it was easier to pretend.
    I