A Raging Dawn Read Online Free Page A

turning it into Swiss cheese.
    She reached a hand toward my shoulder. Toddler that I was at times, I pushed hard with my feet, propelling the stool out of range of Louise’s comfort so fast I ricocheted off the exam table and knocked over the empty metal waste can with a clatter. It rolled across the floor, landing at Louise’s feet. She looked at me. At the can. Then she tilted her face toward me, a quirky half smile creasing her eyes. She gave me a quick nod as if agreeing to an unspoken conspiracy and kicked it soccer-style.
    Her aim was perfection, careening it against the corner and back to me. I raised my foot and stomped down so hard the empty metal can caved in with a satisfying crunch. The perfect explosion of petulant, childish rage.
    It felt good. Damn good. If not for the fact that the stupid, cheap tin can crumpled around my foot and I had to balance against the exam bed to shake free of it. Flushed, I turned to Louise. She waited for my response as I wavered between tears and laughter. Laughter won out.
    I sat again on the stool, wheeled my way around the crushed can, and rejoined her at the desk. “Put that on my bill.”
    “You know they’ll mark up that piece of essential medical equipment until the insurance company thinks you destroyed an MRI machine.”
    “Not like I’ll be around to pay for it,” I shot back. That sobered us both. But it was the truth, no sense in avoiding it. I released my breath, my stomach caving in. “So…Tahiti it is.”
    “Tahiti?” she asked, confused. I let it hang. Louise was smart enough to figure it out for herself. It only took a beat, and her expression turned fierce. “Angela Rossi. Are you that selfish? To abandon your friends, your family—”
    “I’m trying to spare them, and you damn well know it.”
    “You’re a control freak. Brassed off that finally there is something beyond your control,” she retorted.
    “What do you want me to do? Lie there, helpless, awake and aware of everything, while the people I love wipe my ass for me? How’s that for a final memory to haunt them the rest of their lives?”
    Louise crossed her arms, hugging the chart to her chest. Inhaled and blew out her breath, lipstick feathering into the creases around her mouth. “It doesn’t have to come to that. I can help.”
    I stared at her, surprised. She’d lose her job, her license, maybe even go to jail. “I can’t ask you—”
    “You didn’t.” She released the chart from her grip and set it between us. “I’m offering. It can be here or…Tahiti. But promise me, whatever you decide, you’ll say good-bye first. Your friends and family deserve that at least.”
    Images of the band filled me. Of Jimmy’s bar, music soaring, spinning out of control, as laughter filled the air and people danced: Mom, Evie, Uncle Jimmy, my two obnoxious cousins, Jacob—my ex—Louise and her family, my colleagues from the Advocacy Center and ER. And Ryder. It was the last that made me nod my agreement. The way Ryder looked at me when I played my fiddle, as if I were the only woman in the entire universe. Who could resist the chance to see that one last time?
    Except…I looked away. “Ryder. It’s not fair. He never signed up for this.”
    “Don’t you think that’s his choice?” Louise’s infamous you’re screwing up again glare said it all. It was the one she gave me every time I hooked up with Jacob for one of our on-again, off-again flings. Of course, she needn’t worry. Jacob and I were never going to happen again. Not after Ryder. He’d be my last. And, in so many ways, my first. First time I ever needed, ever wanted a man in my life—no, that was wrong—first time I ever wanted to be part of a man’s life, instead of solely living my own.
    “Ryder deserves to know,” she said.
    “He deserves a lot more than that. Which is why I can’t drag him into this.” My words hung between us. Then I dared to ask the question I’d been avoiding. “How