A Journey of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 9) Read Online Free Page B

tell the tale again, laddie.”
    “That’s all right, Mr. Bottomfeeder, sir, I think it’s coming back to me. Oh my Goodness, where is Miss Plumtartt?”
    “She has the good fortune of being chosen the fairest maiden in all of Gnomedom! She has been chosen as more beautiful than any Gnome lass. It is a great honour! Now don’t you worry, Ickity; I am certain that she has been gobbled up gone by now.”
    “What? Nossir, I ain’t having that! Which way did he go? I gotta save Miss Plumtartt!”
    “Don’t be silly, Icky. Be sensible, there’s plenty of Gnomey girls that will soon take your mind off Penelope.”
    “Persephone.”
    “Whatever.”
    “No, now I’m serious, which way did they go?”
    “What can you do, boy? Granitebutte is thousands of stone of solid stone. Ye’ dinnae stand a chance against the mighty brute.”
    “I know he’s big, now which way did he go? Never mind, I can track that flat footed son of a gun.”
    “What will ye’ do when ye’ find him, eh? Ye’ cannae hurt the beast.”
    “Gosh, I reckon that’s true. Do you have any suggestions for tackling a bruiser like that?”
    “Yeah. Don’t.”
    “Oh well, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Bottomfeeder, so long.”
    “Harumph. Temperance, where do you think you’re going? You need to see about returning me to civilization.”
    “You are just going to have to find your own way home; I have more important problems.”
    “More important than me? Don’t be absurd. Why, you don’t mean to say that your foolish wench is more important than I am do you?”
    “Yessir, I do. Oops! I mean, don’t you go and call her no wench! Shame on you! Miss Plumtartt is the finest girl this world or ours has ever seen! I ain’t got time for this, I gotta go save her!”
    “Temperance, come back here!”
    “Nossir, Mr. Morganstern, if you want me to watch out for you then you better learn how to keep up!”
    “You impertinent little scamp! Wait! Don’t leave me here among these nasty little Gnomeys; I’m following you!”
    ~~~
    “I say, sir, this has gone on long enough. Unhand me at once, you calcified cad!”
    “Booger, you are an earful, lady.”
    “You will address me as Miss Plumtartt, if you please.”
    “I don’t make it a habit of naming me food, Missy.”
    “I concur, my good troll. Let’s stop all this nonsense about one being consumed, eh hem? It is doubtful I would be of any nutritional value to a being of your bio/geo metabolism.”
    “I don’t eat me Tributes because I’m hungry. Why, that would be silly. It’s a long standing tradition, and everybody is happy with it.”
    “Including the Gnomey maidens?”
    “Getting gobbled up ain’t so bad, when you think about how these girls are looked upon as heroes! They have kept me, a terrible troll, at bay for as long as anyone can remember. Why, even I cannot remember the last time I wrecked a village. Of course, the real incentive for the gels is being always remembered for having been chosen the prettiest girl in the village. It is a fierce, and often brutal competition. Never underestimate the power of ego.”
    “One is familiar with backstage beauty pageant hostilities.”
    “Roight, it’s makes what I do pretty tame in comparison, eh?”
    “Indeed.”
    “Aye, it’s an ugly thing to see those pretty Gnomey girls pulling each other’s beards out.”
    “One can imagine.”
    “Aye, there’s been some legendary pageants that spawn feuds lasting many generations. It’s an honour to think that I am responsible for such deep emotions.”
    “Quite so, you must be very proud.”
    “Legendary? Why bless my cobbled knees, here I am rattling away with a real human, and I never even considered the legends.”
    “I say, what legends might these be, eh hem?”
    “This is a very old world, Persephone. We have lived through many long Ages. I seem to recall, though, that concerning human mythology, it is said that a ‘son of a man’ will come at a time of Great Crisis and