A Game of Groans: A Sonnet of Slush and Soot Read Online Free Page A

giggled, and giggled, and giggled some more.
    Just as she was about to haul herself out of the mud and track down some food—a plate of raw onions with a side of cooked onions in a light onion sauce would have hit the spot—a gentle sound nudged her from her reverie: “Gateway,” the beloved voice whispered.
    She opened her eyes and smiled at her husband. “Head, darling.” After an unsuccessful attempt at pulling herself out of the sludge, she swallowed her roach, held out her hands, and said, “Little help here?” Head smiled indulgently as he pulled his bride up from the squishy ground. After she gave him a passionate, muddy kiss, she pointed at the bloodstains on Head’s chest and queried, “Tough day in the fields, big guy?”
    Head looked down at his shirt and frowned. “Godsdamn it, that will never come out. And I was going to wear this shirt to greet Bobbert.”
    Gateway asked, “Bobbert’s coming?”
    “King Bobbert himself,” Head agreed.
    Gateway asked, “When? How? With whom?”
    Head answered, “Soon. On horses. With everybody.”
    “The kids will be thrilled to see him,” Gateway pointed out.
    “I agree,” Head agreed, “that the boys will be pleased. The girls, I am not so sure. I think he frightens Sasha and Malia.”
    “He frightens me too,” Gateway claimed, “but I just nut up and deal with it. I’ll talk to them.”
    Head nodded and said, “Thank you, darling.” He wiped his brow with the back of his hand, regarded the sweat stains on his shirt, and added, “Summer is coming.”
    Rolling her eyes, Gateway noted, “You’ve mentioned that, darling. Several times.”
    “I know I did,” Head admitted, “but it bears repeating: Summer is coming.”
    “So I’ve heard.”
    “I know you’ve heard it, Gateway, but do you understand it?”
    When she was in the warm, mellow grip of Godsweede, Lady Gateway did not understand much, but she became very agreeable, so she said, “Don’t be silly, Head. Of course I understand it.”
    “Do you?” he asked. “Then please explain.”
    “Okay, I mean, you’re telling me, that, like, y’know, it’s kinda like Summer is coming.” Giving him her finest smile, she asked, “Right?”
    Head draped his arm over his wife’s shoulders and said, “That’s right, Gateway. You’ve got it. Summer is coming.”
    She put her arm around his waist and uttered, “We know why Summer is coming, but why is Bobbert Barfonme coming?”
    Head looked away from Gateway and asked, “Can’t one old friend come to visit another old friend?”
    “Of course he can, Head, but Bobbert Barfonme doesn’t get off of his throne for any reason other than to get his grog on, and he doesn’t leave Capaetal Ceity unless he’s in the midst of a political disaster that could end up with one of his friends dead.” Her synapses awoke to the point that she was able to put two and two together, and even though she came up with five, she knew something was amiss. “Okay, Headcase,” Gateway sighed, “what’s wrong?”
    Head cleared his throat, looked away, and fumbled, “ Whaaaaat? Something wrong? That’s crazy talk. Wrong? Never . Why would you think anything’s wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Everything is one-hundred-percent copacetic.”
    Gateway growled, “Head, don’t do this.”
    “Do what?”
    “ That thing.”
    “ What thing?”
    “That thing where you don’t tell me about an important character getting murdered.”
    “Oh. Right. That thing.”
    After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Gateway asked, “So who bit it now?”
    Again, Head cleared his throat, and again, there was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Finally, Lord Barker said, “Your brother-in-law.”
    “My brother-in-law?”
    “Yes,” Head sighed.
    “You mean Mr. I’m-So-Cool-Because-I’m-the-Foot?”
    “Right.”
    “Mr. Help-Move-the-Story-Along?”
    “Yeah, him.”
    “Mr.