2 Months 'Til Mrs. (2 'Til Series) Read Online Free Page B

now she is going to have her very own child who will probably
be a booger-eater too, or twins who will eat each other’s boogers. Eew! Am I
supposed to be jealous? But the envy was there nonetheless. It felt oddly
like a blow to the funny bone—not funny at all; rather excruciating actually.
She found that each time she was accosted with another pregnancy she became
just a smidge more bitter. Even Georgia’s pregnancy had stuck in her craw. Her
best friend! Getting everything she dreamed of! And instead of unfettered joy
Catherine had found herself trapped somewhere between happiness for her and
jealousy over every single accomplishment Georgia had made in her life—growing
past 5’5”, having gorgeous strawberry blonde hair, perfect emerald eyesight, love,
and Love (her married name). And now a baby, too! Beside her, Catherine just
looked short and plain and usual… with brown blurry eyes and brown unruly hair and nothing as spectacular as love .
    “When will she find out what she’s having?” Catherine
asked, trying to play her proper part as someone who was interested at all .
    “She doesn’t want to know! Of course she wants it to
be a surprise!”
    “Isn’t it a surprise no matter when she finds out?”
she asked innocently.
    “It’s a surprise that they even got pregnant at all
what with her being over thirty,” her aunt lashed back. “You’re almost
thirty-five, right? ... This March?” Her aunt tapped her finger against her
lips like she was truly concerned.
    “Well, thirty is the new twenty,” Catherine
said, shrugging.
    “From what I’ve heard, a woman can be the new
husband,” Aunt Judy noted.
    “Excuse me?”
    “I just want you to know that settling down… with
anyone… I wholly support it. A girl shouldn’t have to live alone just because
she doesn’t want to live with a man. Love blooms where it blooms.”
     

-4-
     
     
    “I can’t believe my aunt called me a lesbian,”Catherine
said under her breath, completely bewildered by what had just happened. She
hadn’t even had a comeback. She just took it spinelessly. Though she should
have expected as much from Aunt Judy; as the oldest in her mother’s family, she’d
always been the bitter one. And coldhearted. 
    Catherine oozed down into a chair in the corner of the
family room right next to Uncle Dick. He was the perfect companion for her,
seeing as how he didn’t like anybody either. And even though he was generally
ornery half the time, the other half of the time he was asleep, like right now,
the Christmas tree lights bathing him in a glow that made him almost festive to
be around.
    “So you’re an actress . That explains a lot.
Always were flighty as hell. Certainly not the brightest bulb in the package.”
The old man spoke eerily, right out of a sound sleep. Or maybe he was playing possum.
You could learn a lot of secrets that way. Too bad his hearing was shot.
    “I said lesb—” But Catherine stopped herself before
coming out to Uncle Dick. Better an acting rumor than an alternative lifestyle
chinking away at her prospects as a newly single lady.
    “What?” he cranked back.
    “Nothing.”
    “You thespians are a dime a dozen in New York City. You
hardly got a chance kid.”
    “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she groused.
    “A commercial for condiments is hardly called making it.”
    I said con-fi-dence, you old coot…. And while
you’re at it, don’t knock condiment commercials. That guy—whatshisface on
Friends—had his first big break in a Heinz commercial and just look where he is
today—everybody remembers his name… or at least his old character name. If it’s
good enough for Joey—
    “Actors.” Uncle Dick waved her off. “Your generation
needs to learn how to face facts. The American dream isn’t for dreamers,” he
asserted, continuing down his mistaken road. “Get a job. Make some real money. Pay
your bills. You think that you should love what you do. There’s no shame
in hating